Lord have mercy. I need me a drink. My kids are so bad I can't even think. They're always whining, complaining and crying and such. I tell them not to bother with something and that thing they still touch. There's no doubt about it. They're trying to drive me mad. I knew parenting would be a job but this is the hardest I ever had. All the talking back, the eye rolling and the disrespect, I made them they didn't make me, the last time it was checked. But they walk around my house like they tell me what to do, like they're taking care of the mortgage and paying for the food. It's funny, when they want something from me they're the sweetest but when I want something from them they forget how to speak English. They're always into something and they never listen but every time I turn around they're standing in the kitchen. I want this. I want that and give me, give me, give me. I tell them to go sit down and they're back in 1 minute. Lord help me please. These are some bad ass kids!! There's no way in hell that I was this bad as a kid. I can't have 5 minutes alone no matter where I go they're there, no wonder I'm going crazy and I'm losing my hair. Everything I tell them I have to tell them a million times which I find to be a lot easier if I'm drinking some wine. I wasn't a drinker at all but now I drink all the time and so would you if your kids were as bad as mine. I'm sucking down brews, they've even got me smoking on occasion because I don't know what to do with these little hell raisers. Time out is a joke and punishing them doesn't work I even try whipping them but they say it doesn't hurt. I can't get anything out of them it's like pulling teeth but it's amazing how fast they show up when there's something to eat. They can work the hell out of a computer but they can't work a broom and my neighbors say their kids are the same way too. They want me buried in the ground they're trying to kill me I know it, one nerve at a time and I've got the gray hair to show it. I've got to have something; Jack Daniel, tequila, vodka, rum. It really doesn't matter just pour me some. They'll all be gone soon but it won't be fast enough. I'm so sick of them walking around my house and acting tough. They look at me sometimes like it's going to be a bout but like I brought them into this world I will surely take them out!
Timothy James 4-26-13
*Dedicated to all of the parents with bad kids that have been driven to drink. This one's on me.