I was once in love with a mermaid and she in love with me.
We'd spend all day most afternoons canoodling by the sea.
She was a single mermaid mum with two sons and a daughter
And she really had a struggle to keep her head below the water.
Her husband he'd been such a brute, unloving and so selfish
She said that she was happy when he ran off with a shellfish.
But mermaids, it's unfortunate, and humans can't entwine
And though I loved her I could never ever make her mine.
For us, life with a mermaid can never be complete -
Not enough woman to really love and not enough fish to eat.
But what she had it wasn't bad, fine hair down to her shoulders,
Was pretty as the setting sun and buxom as two boulders.
We really had a lot of fun and I could tell some tales,
Though we were always careful not to tip the scales.
She never came on land, of course. She wasn't land-equipped,
We met where it was shallow and into the sea I slipped.
Our love it was restricted, there were limits on each side
Though we were happy mixing it and going with the tide.
But all good things come to an end, she crossed me off her rota
Cos she had met another man who had an outboard motor.
One day I saw them making woo, a lump came to my throat.
I thought I'd leave them to it so I didn't rock the boat
And now she's just a memory, I'm sad you'll understand,
But I'll not let it get me down. There's more fish on the land.