I've bough myself an artist's studio,
Got brushes, paints and canvases brand new,
I've grown a goatee beard so you will know
That I'm an artist - got a beret, too.
I looked through Yellow Pages and I found
A model agency in Soho Square.
I ordered one and they have sent her round.
She's just been here a minute and she's bare.
I'm at my easel, she has struck a pose,
I feel like Leonardo or Van Gogh.
I'm looking at a lady with no clothes
And really wish she hadn't got them off.
She doesn't know I haven't got a clue.
I wish that I could paint that picture - true!