POETRY IN MOTION
THE RELUCTANT COOK
They were guarding the oasis,
It was prone to the odd attack
From a group of Arab nomads.
Any day they might be back.
They hadn't eaten for many day
And had a haggard look.
The problem was that none of them
Would offer to be the cook.
But one of them stood up one day
And said "I'll volunteer -
We have to eat and someone has
To be the cook round here.
But these are my conditions:
Should one of you complain,
Then you can do the cooking.
I won't volunteer again"
They all thought that was reasonable,
If he'd cook they'd be glad,
And none of us is going to moan,
We're sure it won't be bad.
And so he cooked a meal each day
Which really was a pain.
His cooking was abominable
Yet no one would complain.
Then one day inspiration
Gave him a good idea.
He knew just what he had to do.
He grinned from ear to ear
Then went and found some camel poo,
Warm and fairly new
And chopped it up and cooked it
When he made the next day's stew.
He sat and watched them eat it,
Saw their faces turning white.
'That's done the trick!' he told himself,
'They'll soon complain all right'.
Then one of them in pure disgust
Up from his dinner looked.
"This is bl**dy camel sh*t -
But very nicely cooked!"
It was prone to the odd attack
From a group of Arab nomads.
Any day they might be back.
They hadn't eaten for many day
And had a haggard look.
The problem was that none of them
Would offer to be the cook.
But one of them stood up one day
And said "I'll volunteer -
We have to eat and someone has
To be the cook round here.
But these are my conditions:
Should one of you complain,
Then you can do the cooking.
I won't volunteer again"
They all thought that was reasonable,
If he'd cook they'd be glad,
And none of us is going to moan,
We're sure it won't be bad.
And so he cooked a meal each day
Which really was a pain.
His cooking was abominable
Yet no one would complain.
Then one day inspiration
Gave him a good idea.
He knew just what he had to do.
He grinned from ear to ear
Then went and found some camel poo,
Warm and fairly new
And chopped it up and cooked it
When he made the next day's stew.
He sat and watched them eat it,
Saw their faces turning white.
'That's done the trick!' he told himself,
'They'll soon complain all right'.
Then one of them in pure disgust
Up from his dinner looked.
"This is bl**dy camel sh*t -
But very nicely cooked!"
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THE RELUCTANT COOK
THE RELUCTANT COOK
