fluffy white clouds
edged in yellow
a vision on the edge
a promise for tomorrow
a far off land
hidden in the mists of the sea
could it be real
or just another fantasy
is it right to believe?
it is in vain and hopeless
when my faith is empty
like a wilderness
I tried to believe
I really did
but your face from me
you always hid
the promises of tomorrow
to me didn't seem real
I wasn't prepared to accept
or allow myself to feel
there was always a shadow of doubt
a question one too many!
what if it was a bunch of lies?
well I wasn't going to fooled, I wanted out!
What if we were all part
of a huge conspiracy
to keep the masses quiet
too much inconsistency
how could there be goodness
without the counterpart of badness
how could there be light
without the shadow of night?
how could there be yin
without the yang
how could there be a promised future
of a paradise land?
I had read too many stories
of how man had been misled
by those in power
who's hearts were cold and dead
they chose to deceive the people
and lead them to believe
that their way was the right way
and people had no say
of people who in the future
had found out all the faiths
were just one big deception
and humanity was kept in false expectation
that really there was no Creator
we came from another place
there was never a beginning
we were from a totally different space
so what to believe?
What to sound down in my heart?
where do I turn to
where do I start?
where do the dead go
do they really die?
Or is there another spirit place
beyond our earthy space?
What about the miracles
which Jesus performed
where they just stories told
to keep us on permanent hold?
Wondering about the magic
which the Bible has forbidden
Why were the fortune tellers kept quiet
and their prophesies hidden
so many mysteries unearthed
so many civilisations upon this earth
what can we believe in
what is of any worth?
So many different ways of thinking
so many different beliefs
what and where do you turn to
what would you do ?
it all seems too unreal
and I just couldn't believe
so I packed up my books
and decided to leave
I wanted no part of a false dream
so I left that way and began
living my life, watching
as it fell apart at the seams!
there were many good things
about living that way
but despite that
I couldn't go back there today!
For my mind was continually thwarted
and blocked against a brick wall
constantly apprehended
and always I faced a fall!
For my mind just couldn't accept
there was a creator to communicate with
for how could there be something so vast
and with this thought I just couldn't live
so many queries
and so many rules
so much guilt
on which my life was built
I couldn't go on
something had to give
so I left that way behind
and continued to live
but now there is an emptiness
in which I live my day
I cannot find any answers
no matter how I pray
but therein lies an issue
for how can you pray
to something you doubt exists
is it because my soul cries out for you?
Yet I acknowledge the angels
and thank them most days
for helping me in the little things
which my day brings
but here again is a problem
for angels are messengers of God
I can accept voices of angels
but not the one who sent them?
You see how confused I am
and be thankful it is not you
I live my life in insanity
what am I going to do!?
So I will continue to dream
and watch the clouds passing by
showing me fantasy castles in the sky
walking my dog and wondering WHY?
