I cannot change the past
Written by D.A.M
January 5, 2007 (4:59pm)
(But I can try to change the future)
(Honesty helps to heal the soul)
(Please Feel free to leave a critique)
I found myself
looking back in time
on many occasions
And I admit
I was the foolish one
when I was very young
I want you to know
that you were never
the one to blame
I was and I always have been
Time has finally caught up with me
and my emotions are getting the best of me
Because I have faced reality
My whole life has gone full circle
And I don't see things in the same way
like I used to when I was young
Back then I was just a rebel
without a cause and all I ever thought about
was myself like most of us do when we are young
But now that I am older I am no longer the person that I used to be
I have changed dramatically
I know none of this will be easy for you or for me
And I will be the first one to admit to you
that I was never perfect in any way or form
and I truly was a stubborn young man
I have reached a point now in my life
where I am torn in two and broken inside
And now my emotions have finally
caught up to me and they have got the best of me
I really would like to try
to make up for all the years
that I have missed without you by my side
Lord willing I will get that chance
some day to reconnect with you
Way back then I was to young and way to stubborn
to really understand the consequences of my actions
But now I understand and my heart felt emotions are pouring out to you
Hopefully some day I can be forgiven
if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for not being beside you for all these years
We all make mistakes and I will be the first one to tell you
that I have made many mistakes in my lifetime
that I honestly wish that I could change now
But I also know that I can
never turn back the hands of time
But at least I can say that I am making an effort
to reconnect with you
and I am also hoping and praying
that you will want to meet me too
so that I can spend some time with you
while there is still some time to share with you
We will never know what tomorrow will bring
That's why I am making an effort with you to try to change things today
I have paid a high price for my mistakes
And now I am trying
from the bottom of my heart to make up for lost time
I want us to be able heal inside together
so that we can both get over these hurdles
that stand in front of us
I know that it wont be easy nothing ever is
But I am willing to try
if you are willing
to give me a chance
I would rather know that I tried
to reconnect with you now
Then to have to live the rest of my life without you by my side
and then to have died knowing in my heart
that I never had a chance to get to know you
My heart is torn in two
and I am lost without you
and the hands of time
have caught up with me
Hopefully some day
if I am given a second chance
to spend some time with you
We can both start healing together so that we can finally
put the past to rest and behind us
To many years have gone by
without you by my side
And for the longest time I have tried to hide
these feelings that I have had inside
and I cant do it anymore because a part of me
will always be torn in two
I feel half alive
without you by my side
I can no longer be silent
after all of these years
I am broken
and I have shared my emotions with you
and my confessions are out in the open
for the whole world to see.
I just hope and pray that maybe some day
we can get to know each other
and try to make up for lost time
I want to try to fix what
was broken by my actions
back when I was young
so that I can try to fix them
one piece at a time so that the healing
can truly begin for the both of us
I really would like to grow with you so that I can get to know you
before it is to late
Hopefully in time I can be forgiven
for all the mistakes that I had made
when I was a young man
All I can do now is hand all of my burdens over to the Lord
and leave my burdens in his hands
because I can no longer carry these burdens
on my own and go through this alone for another day
Maybe some day more miracles will come my way
and all of my prayers will be answered
But until that day comes
I will keep waiting
and I will continue praying
that you are ok
Hopefully some day we can spend some time together
so that you no longer have to feel alone without me.
Like I have been without you.
I cannot change the past
But I can change the future
if you will give me a second chance.
(The first step to healing
is being able to admit that you were wrong to everyone
then the healing can begin)
