You can't buy me with presents
I'm not that kinda girl
Don't mention glittering fat diamonds and
Expect my head to twirl.
So uncouth to attempt to trick me
With promises of twenty four carat gold when
What I really require
Cannot be bought and sold.
Don't offer me the delights of Paris
Or languishing on the Orient Express
Posh meals at fancy restaurants
Where most likely I would spill on my dress.
Designer clothes and three thousand pound handbags
A Ferrari to drive all the men wild
A cougar to keep tied in my garden
A tiara to hold me beguiled.
What I need is something very simple:
A man with a humorous streak
Someone to keep me laughing
Until Thursday of next week.
The only way to this girls heart
Be brave, be daring, be true
Is to amuse me and keep me constantly laughing
Are you out there?