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I'm not like this anymore!
Today I'm looking back
A child, taught to fear and controlled
Fear of things that could be
Things that might be a possibility
"Don't go there, such and such may happen
And don't do that, just in case!"
A life of rules, worry and regimen,
Terrified of the boogey men
Fear of what may be
Scared of what you can't see
Worried over what the next hour could bring
Petrified of sitting on a swing
"You may fall and break a leg
Don't go on the high slide
You're bound to fall and break your neck
"Oh! Heck!"
Don't go in water
Don't be doing what you shouldn't oughta"
Keep away from boys
With then never be alone
Just sit nice and good
There's a good girl,
Play nicely now,
you play with your toys
Goodness sakes that dress is too revealing
Keep your cleavage out of sight
Don't even look at that outfit
It's way too tight
Make-up is for "Cheap girls"
Why would you wish to wear it?
Why do you want to wear a bra
That pushes up your t*t's
Only "Fast" girls
Put everything on show
Don't let the boys know
What is hidden below
Keep your body clean
For the marriage bed
And don't let anything remotely sexual
Ever enter your head
Keep your thoughts wholesome
Keep yourself perfect and pure
Or you'll never get a husband
That's for sure!
Living my life in reflection
A way filled with introspection
Controlled with words and barriers
"Nice girls don't do that!"
It "Just isn't done" to be
sexual and full of fun
Nice girls
Don't play that way
Only loose girls
cheap on the side
those with no care
let down their hair
It isn't "Our way"
Not to pass the time of day
Without a "Hello!" or "How are you?"
But God forbid you don't enquire as to what they do
It is considered impolite
To query too deeply into reasons why
women don't want you to know
What's really inside
For false mirrors
is what they project
their deepest demons
they'll seek to protect
You'll never know that women
Are full of confusion
Deeply passionate
Controlled with society's NON- sexual illusion
We are so controlled
Moulded into rules of society
A pleasant personna we reflect
But inside we totally reject
It isn't nice you see
For us women to be
Raunchy, wild and free
Cos it's considered wrong..... and quietly scary
but hey! I'm a female
I want to know
what life is like
On the other side
So out of spite
I'm gonna throw away
Those rules and regulations
That hold my feelings at bay
I'm gonna live and love
My life is drizzling away
Yesterday is gone for ever
And tomorrow is never
I can't keep living in yesterday
Yesterday has gone for good
It's no use yearning
To be understood
Remembering those feelings I used to own
What's the point of holding them
They have gone,
I can't turn back the clock again
So look out world
This girl is trying to get out of her box
So don't try
Holding me with bloodied keys and locks
This girl has hit womanhood
I've finished now with motherhood
My kids are grown
Now, finally, I can come into my own
Jayc
August 12th 2008
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