Its not knowing that hurts the most.
Why have you stopped talking to me?
No explanation, just POOF!!! You quit!
I said I was sorry for saying the wrong things.
This crime I committed must have been great in your mind.
Yes!! I have emotions, SO WHAT!!
I have been burned by worse people than you,
And still I gave you a chance to know me.
But at the first test of friendship you deserted me.
Leaving me hanging and not knowing why and folded like a lawnchair.
I quickly became your enemy. Why do you dislike me so?
No good enough reason for our friendship to be over.
I said the wrong thing by accident!!!!
And yet you hold that against me......I said I was sorry!!!!!!!!!!!
You know why you hate me so why do you not have the courage to tell me???
Would you even care if something bad happened to me now?
I feel as if you would be happy to have me gone out of your friend's life.
But at the same time, I feel you would hate to see him hurting for losing me?
I would still care if anything horrible happened to you,
Even though you hold, in your eyes, contempt and I see me as your sworn enemy.
The eyes are the windows into the soul and I see where I stand with you.
You make it painfully known by the way you look at me when you have to see me.
I am not dumb, I know but am waiting for your courage to get the best of you,
Until you are finally able to tell me to my face and not behind my back how you really feel.
I have asked you several times, in the past, where I stood with you, but only silent screams do I hear.
My own voice raging against the shallowness of your cruelty.
I wish you would tell me, why because I honestly do NOT know!!
What are you not wanting me to know that I have not yet figured out on my own?
Do you really see me as being that dumb? I do take hints but I like for people,
To be upfront with me and tell me why. I wish you were human enough,
To be able to look me in the eyes and tell me why you dislike me so much.
Its better to know where one stands with people than to not know and assume the worst.
But sometimes the worst is an accurate way for me to think as you will not answer me.
I sit and I cry and wonder what kind of person do you perceive me to be?
Bi-Polar? Crazy? A little off her rocker? Insane?? Drama Queen??
Would you have thought this way about me had I been a different person than what you see?
Does it matter that I am hurting now? Does it matter to you that I am upset because you will not talk to me?
All I can do is put this on my already high pile of things troubling me.
All I can do is wait until you have the courage to explain to me what I did that was so wrong in your eyes.
I guess you forgot that you are just as imperfect as I am and do not know what "true" friends do?
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