To start the day unhappy
In emotion I'm drowning
Submerged and unannounced
It is something undesired
To awaken abruptly is not something I required
Or was prepared for
I lie here, thoughts going round my head
Remembering dreams traveled in the night's bed
Holding out stupid hopes and disillusioned
Knowing it cannot be!
To understand with resounding finality
There is no further path before my feet
There is only a sweaty twisted sheet
A reminder of something I could have had
A residue of the passion I had with you
But it was only within a dream
And now the daylight is here
All I want to do is cry and scream
Vent out my anger to the world
At the unfairness I find myself in
The blackness which faces me
To know the reality of my life
Is not what I had envisaged
To know with finality
That the road I walked on
Has led me to this place
A place I had not wished
Yet I find myself here
Lost among the devastation I have found
Struggling with un-cried tears
Which beg to be released
With angry resolution I push them away
Resigned to the heavy hardening of my heart
A resolution now that I have finally realized
That this path is the one I chose
As I pick up the pieces
Try again to start
I find my feet are walking the same way
I cannot turn away from a promise of what?
Stupid dreams, promises and crazy unreality!
These have carried me along,
Yet to where have they brought me
What have they given other than deeper misery!
I must move on,
Turn my feet off this crazy insanity I have created
I must learn now to face my truth
My reality
To accept that my dreams are not related
To the situation I find myself in.
Yet with a certain resolve I understand
This path that I have trodden
Is something I must be on
Because I have so much I need to learn
Yet whilst I walk
My heart feels so heavy within
Knowing I am walking another path from you
When all I want to do
Is be assured that I have not devastated you too!
But most likely and with deepening irony
Do I begin to believe that you are going about your day
With no thoughts other than going your way
Closed off and shuttered is what you did
When you said goodbye and don't contact me
A final slamming of a steel door in my face
And the total idiocy is
That I am still in the damned place!
