These days I'm happy, loved and proud
And yet I glance at my wrist
I know my scars are there for a reason
Reminding me of the pain I caused my soul
I know they'll never truly go away
I'll always see them in my head
And even though that feeling of cold desperation for blood
And the absence of feeling while I laughed
Does not make itself known anymore
I know my demons still linger in me
Drowned in the pit of despair
I reached for those demons
Certain they'd give me comfort
And for years they did
The pain held me as I cried
The numbness engulfed me when I shut myself out
The blood quieted my screams
But in the end-they weren't enough
When the pain held me-
I still felt cold
When the numbness engulfed me-
I still felt alone
And when the blood quieted my screams,
I still felt unheard
I cried out for something, I so desperately believed
I didn't deserve
Love
I cried out for love
And the warmth that came with it
I cried out for a sanctuary
Within a lover's arms
And when I saw it-
Love at it's best
I cried.
I begged God not to taunt me
Not to take away my only happiness-I'd swore I'd change
And though he tested me
And my willingness to change
I kept my word
And kept my babe
Many months have passed now
And my love has saved me from my demons
I look up to God again
And pray a thanks to him
For now that love has saved me
And my demons are needed no longer
My scars can finally begin to heal
Because of the love
I never deserved
