When I floated
In the tree
Above his
Shoulder
I was
Invisible
To all but
My Beloved.
Eyes locked
The stare
Through which
Should a man
Pass his hand
Between our
Gaze
Should burn
His hand.
At First
All was as
It should be,
He a man
I a woman
Beloveds as
Is right
To be.
We had
Long walks
And talks,
Hand in hand
Over and
Endless golden
Sea,
With a sun
That never fully
Rose,
Or
Set.
What mortal
Lover could
Compare?
To one who could
Give sunbeams
And rainbows
Like a mortal
Would red
Roses?
He could make
The wind
Blow and play
With my hair
As often
As a lover
Would give
Kisses
On the cheek.
As I found
Statues of his
Old human form,
Dark likenesses
Compared to
His personal being,
I would sit
At his feet,
Like I used
to.
Then there
Were times
When there
Was
No form
At all..
Just conversation.
Notebooks
And
Notebooks
Full of
Conversation.
For a time
I was lost
In Mortals
Because I had
Begged
My bodiless
Beloved
For one
With a Body.
Skin to touch
Lips to kiss
Love to make,
And because
Shehe so loved
Me,
My requests
Were granted.
The conversations
Grew shorter
His physical presence
Became less
Frequent…
But…
The idea
Of the Divine
Feminine
Some where
Between
Him and her
I began to
Realize that
The divine
Was not just
Father figure
But Mother
Too,
And
He was joined
With
She…
My
Shehe.
Lover
Beloved
Parent…
The Divine
Grew and
Swelled as
I was able
To comprehend
It,
Embrace
All that is
And was,
My Shehe.
Seven years
Came
And went,
Some where
In there
I thought
That the
Conversation
Between
Me
And
Shehe
Was broken…
I was
Broken…
I had lost
Something
Precious,
Myself,
Happiness,
My faith
Was like
A crushed
Porcelain doll
Beaten out
Of some
Malice
My bitter
Childlike
Mind
Couldn't
Wrap itself
Around.
I didn't
Know how
To repair
Our relationship,
Bring back
The conversation
To a place
Where I
Could trust
The Divine
Or my
Interpretation
Of the
Conversation.
I raged
At the loss
Of my heart
Given to petty
Mortals,
I traded flesh
For faith.
It was a
Lousy deal.
Learning
Never comes
Cheep,
Nor
Wisdom,
Or so I
Found.
I didn't
Like who
I became,
When I was
With her.
It was bad
For me,
Only
I didn't
Know how
To fix
Myself,
Nor
Could I say
Where it
All went
Wrong…
I was lost
In the
Dark.
Shehe
Had given me
What I
Had asked for.
Then
One full fall
Moon,
In Gemini
We went
To the temple,
Drew down
The gods
And I closed
My eyes
To find
My Beloved
Yeshua
Waiting for
Me,
Robe open
And
As never
Before
We made
Bodiless love,
He and I.
I opened
My eyes
And
The material
World
Went about
Its business,
I returned
To the Divine
And found
A woman
A Goddess
Waiting for me
“I too
Am your
Beloved.”
Then she
And I
Did as
He and I
Had done
Before.
Then we talked
And in turn
Made love
All of us
And talked
Like crashing
And receding
Waves.
It is one
Thing
Entirely
To speak
Of the Feminine
Divine,
And another
Thing
Entirely
For Her
To be making
Love to you,
Bodiless,
Floating above
A circle of
Those who
Seek to commune
With the Divine,
As He
And She
And I
Looked down
Upon those
We loved.
The world
Went on…
The first
Time I
Made love
With another
Woman,
Who was
Not
My wife,
But my friend
In whom
I found
Some small
Comfort,
I found myself
Screaming
In my mind,
Over
And
Over again,
“I've missed
you.
I've missed
You
SO much.”
To find
That it
Was not
The Mortal
Woman I
Was missing
And that
I found
In a friend,
But the Goddess
Herself
Lain hidden
Within her.
Unlocked
In the depths
Of my
Psyche and
Soul,
Was uncovered
The rift
When she
Left the bedroom
And I knew
That we
Were done,
And the rest
Was me
Trying to prove
Her and the Divine
Wrong.
Suddenly
I was whole
Again,
Full of faith
Ready to
Love again,
And finding
That not only
Could I love,
But that I was
In love,
With all
Of Humanity,
And that
In finding
The Divine
Inside of People
Meant that
I could be
In love
With Everyone
And it
Be
Real,
Genuine,
To say
To every soul
I meet,
