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I Lapsed…I lapsed, I haven't written, cos my heads been all over the place, I can't really concentrate, and writing, what I couldn't face! But the thing is there you see, my words are my lifeline, my sanity, But I haven't been writing, not at all, and let's face it, that's not me! So I decided just now I'll try…and get my head together and write, I may even be on here in the early hours, cos I just can't sleep at night! The pain in my ribs is tearing me apart; the base of my spine's a mess, The worst night for me since the fracture…but I accept it I guess. My steroid jabs aren't till next month, he puts them into my ribs, oh yes! The back of my neck, my cervical spine, and I depend on them I guess! So I have 4 weeks to wait, but meanwhile this pain is out of sight, Of a day I can bear it…but oh, it's off the scales at night! I'm dreading the next 4 weeks; don't know how I'm going to cope? But it's light at the end of the tunnel, cos of the steroids; I have hope! They are agony when they go in, and for a few days after I'm in bad, But oh my oh my, the relief, they are worth the pain I had. So every 14 weeks I go back in, and have them all over again, But I have to say in all honesty, if I didn't have them, I'd go insane!! The meds I'm on gained me weight, and of course the steroids do too! But I think I am over that, cos at the end of the day, what can I do? If I want to be thin I'd stop my meds, be in total agony and stuck inside, So I'd rather be fat, and in less pain, and have a bit of a life outside!! So its fat I am, and fat I'll stay, and live to fight another day! And I'll get my head around it! What choice do I have? Just about none! Life has so much diversity doesn't it? Mine does anyway! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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