Penciled Thoughts 
  Wesley Hesketh

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 My Story

Everybody has a story this is mine.

Before these things happened I was a very mean and evil person.
I used and abused people tossing them away when I was done
with them.  Among other things I was a garbage can junkie and a pusher. One night God moved mightily in my life.  I think of it as a thump on the back of the head so I would pay attention.  
I was driving down the road in a drug stupor.   My third marriage had just come apart, and I was in a 25yr. drug addiction.  I was driving home to commit suicide.  I was praying to God about my life and what a failure I had been.  I did not believe in God but just in case.   I said if I only had someone to hug me I would believe in you.  I was so involved with praying I missed my turn off on the freeway.  Just another failure in my life.  As I crested a hill I saw a cross on this church lit up.  I decided I would go there and meet this God.   I went into the service.   I really looked out of place.  Me in my motorcycle clothes and a two-day growth of beard.  A buck knife on my hip.  My eyes were red from crying and my shoulder length hair way sticking out all over my head.  
Everyone else was in nice outfits.  I sat way in the back pew.  The preacher said if you want to meet Jesus come to the front in the Garden of Prayer.  I went up and knelt down and prayed.   To myself I prayed for forgiveness for been about to commit suicide.  Just then a woman came over and knelt next to me.
All she said was; "I know what you need" and hugged me.  Nobody except this God knew what I had asked of Him.   That night I gave my life to Him.  I walked out of there a clean and sober man and have not used drugs since.  I have been clean and sober for about 30 years.  This started a series of miracles in my life.  
After the meeting, the women who hugged me came over and introduced me to a beautiful woman with big flowers on her dress and a broad brimmed hat.  She was saying how nice the church was and I would be much better than I was.  I told her that was all well and good but in about 45 minutes I would be dead.  She started to sob and hugged me.   I looked around and saw a man coming towards us.  All I could think was here is this finely dressed woman with this rowdy looking man.  I thought I was going to have to fight my way out of there.  The woman cried "he is going to kill himself in a little bit."  The man told her he would help me get home.  When we got to my house, he sat down on the car seat I used as a sofa.   He made me promise not to hurt myself.  For a week he sat on my couch.   When I would wake from a nightmare he would pray over me and for me.  At the end of the week he drove up to my house with rooms of furniture.  Then we had what he called a religious burning.  We took my entire drug stash, my x rated movies books on sex and witches Covent records to burn.   I tried to break the record but no matter how I tried I could not break it.  He just touched the record and it shattered into many pieces.  We went a BBQ pit to burn these things but it was too windy to burn.  This man raised his hands and prayed to God to stop the wind.  The wind stopped around the pit but not around the outer circle.  A man came and commanded us to stop burning.  The man with me said "be gone Satan" and the man fled.  After the burning the man with me prayed for God to start the wind again and it did stirring the ashes in the pit.  He said it was time for him to go and he left.  I went to the church and asked the people who he was but they did not know him.  Angel?  
Things continued to be directed by God and I knew it.  The church got me a job.    On this job we had an accident.  A 300 lb transfer case from a jeep had been pushed on me hitting me on the neck.  The Drs decided I had a crack between c4 and c5 in my spine and needed an operation.  My girl was reading the bible to me as we prepared for my operation.  As she read she came across a line similar to this, "I will lift you from your sick bed."  We claimed that as his word to me.  When the Drs opened my neck, they found nothing wrong with any part of my spine.  This is after X rays and dye test showed different.  I woke up in ICU after I had died on the table.  God said once again I need you there.  The nurse asked if I was a Christian because all the time I was delirious, I kept saying "yea though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou are with me,"  
Up until that point I just talked Christian.  I used the words but not the heart.  I asked God why were these things happening?  Then I realized that when I ask Jesus into my heart, He went so deep I had lost him but he remembered me and carried me.  I went home from the hospital to an empty house,  (I lived alone.)  The people that brought me home just left me there.  I lie on the couch and unable to walk because the muscles of my neck were cut and stitched.  I said God if I has some water I would be ok then I fell asleep.  When I woke up there were people from the church everywhere!  Cooking, cleaning, bringing me water, and praying for me.  No one but God heard me ask for the water.  And he sent an abundance of people to care for me.  Coincidence?  I was so excited as soon as I could I went to the church and talked at a singles meeting telling them just what had happened.   After recovering from this, I lost my job but I kept going back to the scripture that says,
Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not to your own understanding in every way acknowledge Him and he shall guide your path.  So I let Him lead.  He opened the door to vocational rehab where I received retraining in alcohol and drug counseling with a 4.0 and an AA degree.  One day when I was talking to God, I ask why I couldn't have a car after all I just graduated with honors from college.  That day a guy that had owed me $4000.00 for three years called me and said he could pay me now.  Coincidence?  I was able to pay for a nice car and catch up on my bills.  Isn't God so wonderful to give in abundance?  Later on when I thought I was not doing so well at my job, someone would come by saying, "Wes I am still clean and sober."  One day when I was going to work, my car was broken into and my briefcase was stolen.  My girl friend and I prayed for the case to get so hot the thief would drop it.  I trusted God to help me.  Three hours later my girl called reporting that somebody had found my briefcase.  When he brought it over all that was missing were my hearing aids.  I said thank you Lord if I am not supposed to have them that was ok.  Two hours later the same man called me and said that the children in his neighborhood searched the field where my case was found.  Both aids were found.  Coincidence?   God does answer prayers!   A couple of months later I was at my doctors when I felt some chest pains.  I reported it to the doctor and before I knew it I was in the hospital to have a triple by pass on my heart.  God intervened and let me feel these pains at my doctor's office.  I have had no pains until that time.  As I was coming to a nurse was there.  I asked her if she was an angel?  Laughingly she said no.  
After I recovered from the operation, my girl and I decided to tour Oregon on motor scooters.  As we were leaving the Painted Desert, I noticed the tire on my girl's scooter had a bubble in it.  We prayed we could get to the next town.  In the town I tried to call some dealers about the tire.  Every time I tried to call the operator said my call could not go through.  We decided to eat and deal with the problem later.  While at the café the waitress overhead what we were talking about.  She suggested we go to a motel in Sisters.  I called several and found nothing was available.  We decided to just go down the road and look for a motel we could stay at.  By the time we found one it was dark and we were tired.  The next morning we prayed asking what was His will for us and that we except it.  I asked the clerk if she knew where a Honda scooter dealer was?  She said oh it was just down the street about a block.  We prayed again asking if God wanted us to stay there at the motel because, we assumed that it would take a couple of days for the dealer to get the tire.  I took the scooter into the dealers and asked them if they have a tire for the bike.  They said yes and they could install it right away.  Prayers answered again.  Coincidence?  The rest of the trip was uneventful.  To day I have not forgot God and His miracles. I could go on telling how God has help me for the last 25 years, but I want to tell you about my latest miracle.
By this time I believed that God was working in my life.  I did not believe I KNEW!  Recently I fell and injured my leg.  The next thing I knew I was at the wound clinic after my Dr had tried to lance the wound.  While there they reported that my pulse and heart were beating too slow.  They released me and told to get some meds for dressing my leg.  Which I would have to do at home for the next three months.  When I got to East county clinic to get my meds, the assistant to my doctor told me that the doctor wanted to talk to me.  She told me pulse and heart were beating way too slow and to go to the ER.   The next I know I'm in the hospital for my heart and pulse too low, not about the hematoma on my leg,
The first night I was sleeping and my heartbeat went from 40 bpm to 30 bpm and was told I should be dead.  I started to wonder why I was still alive.  God told me I was too self-center and brash and needed to be more humble.  He showed me He could take me at any time.  But He did not because there is something more I am to do.  The doctor took me off some blood pressure meds and I spent 7 days in the hospital.  While there they dressed my wound every day.  I asked the Lord for forgiveness for my behavior.  I know He has, once again.

I hope you can see the miracles in your life.  Ask Him and He will open your eyes so you can see them.  I thank God everyday for just being alive.  He takes very good care of me.  He has giving me a peace that surpasses all understanding.  He loves you and wants to fellowship with you.  That is why he created a magnificent being like you.  Isn't it great that the Creator of the Universe has time for you and me?  Even when I think I've fallen away from Him, He is still with me.  His promises, I will not leave thee or forsake thee.  Just ask.  Thank you for listening.  God bless you.  


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