Smiling in Grief


I still sit upon the bench

The one where I met you

I relive the moments

To make sure they are true

I have never given to no other

The things I gave to you

In return you gave me more than I can say

But when you left you took much more away

When we last sat together

And laughed at silly things

You sat with someone whole

The one who saw your wings

I beg you don't turn around now

And see what you have left

A person on their knees

Not doing what's for the best

I hoped to kiss your cheek each day

On your life time love I was counting

But the pain you've left me holding

Would probably shatter mountains

Why couldn't you see inside me

See what I could give to you

Did my touch not tell you anything

My God if you only knew

We should have been together

Well for me that is the case

You would have never spoken words to me

That would have ever gone to waste

I can still see you in every waking hour

And the minutes and the seconds

I almost want to scream your name

With every thought it beckons

Why did you chose another way

Rather than stay here nearby me

You'll search a thousand years I swear

For someone to love you half as much as me

Again I ask please don't look back

I am not the one you knew

I just hope with the help of others

Somehow I will get through.

Perhaps I should try some laughter

After all I'm good at that

I seem to have forgotten how to do it

Because grief is where I'm at

No one will think me heartless

If I mess about and smile

They will know deep down

I'm just escaping for a while.

And hoping that if you do turn round

I'll be as you remember me

© Steve Ellis (IntotheBlue) 2012