Climb the highest mountain, punch the face of god

Victim Anonymous

The ugly I tried to melt away has become plastered to my mind.
In memory of all that I reject,
I wander aimlessly, looking for a cure to the incurable.
Though my heart is rendered empty,
I fill it with apathy and hope that it can mend
The pathetic lesion that anger grew.

Malice be damned, I want to erect sunsets
Where only darkness can dwell.

Creation is hideous in my thoughts,
How I believed I was born with a higher power
Only to have been designed for burdens.
Can our precious deity lift such horrors from my mind
While intricate mazes of disorder are being birthed
From the chaos that dances throughout my daydreams?

Why do the free get to strut while I continue to die?

The benevolence is invisible now, an echo of a memory
Left transient in this blackout mess.

I miss laughter and the scent it left behind.
It comes in waves, this compunction.
It leaves sickly sweet stains as it slithers about.
What an allusion, bringing me to my knees like a beggar.

And I would beg,
Beg for ignorance in such a deafening voice that the gods
Would be fools to ignore me now.

It is only when the earth stands still that I can hear the refusal.
And if ever I am to be adored, it is by the wind, which
Passes the memory to me like a dream in retrospect.

It makes no difference and yet, all the difference;
All the difference in the world.

My poor head, swimming with an undefined religion of rage.
It keeps me within the void of my own illness.
I feel pressured for perfection while I stand so deep in the sh(i)t,
Hating my existence, cursing the world, victim anonymous.

My sullen soul is a broken piece of glass that
Is too dull to cut the feet that walk upon me.

I peak in obscurity, but can't change the resentful notions
Burrowing holes in my grim esteem.

All I want is destruction, a battle onward to destroy
The shell of what I used to be.
When the obvious rejection disappears, I shall
Plow through the acrimony like a fleet of paranoia
Scurrying from the unknown, only to come across the same damn thing
I was trying to escape from.

It's like running from yourself in a house of mirrors.

And so in the end, justice has nosedived into revenge and
I lose myself once more, all over again.

6-25-12


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Victim Anonymous

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