~Inspirational & Heart-felt Poetry~

(C) Aug 23, 2008 & Aug 24, 2008
Poem # 84
Written by Arielle Bosler

Can't live like this!

Life so hard, I can't take it; I don't want to go to my moms until Cameron is out of the house.
I can't handle this anymore. Him threatening me, spitting in my face as he speaks
Or should I say is yelling at us instead. Him blamming me for moving out,
For having friends over, when my mome said I could
I can't take this anymore, I am about to break
Life is tarring me apart, my mom needs help; she has to get away.
Life is going down hill and I can't live like this, my body is shaking.
Cameron is not my stepfather and I will never, after this moment, allow him in my heart.
Screaming in my face, pushing my mother out ot the way to scream in my friends as well as my friends faces.
To almost hitting me, blamming me for having my friend zach over, even though it was just to hangout.
Even ask Augustine or even Becky, they were there.
Blamming me for absolutely everything the house, the bills,
My moms broken heart, form her child moving out.
Me moving out causing my mothers pain.
My heart broken and broken, broken, broken, broken.....
Stabs, daggers, knives, rocks, stones, pins, and needles all stabbing me
A milllion times a million times over and over again.
Cameron causing way to much pain by saying "you caused your mothers pain,
Her crying on my shoulder because you moved out, you left your mother, you desserted her in her time of need!"
saying anything and everyting, running on about things from my moms financial problems to anything at all just blamming everything on me.
To much stress needing to calm down, heart shaking body trembling
As cameron stood there yelling as the fear struck my eyes, my body started crying inside and out,
Coming out of my eyes, trembling in my heart body shaking uncontrollably,
Looking into my mothers, hazel eyes, trying to have her say something
When all he would do is yell and yell, throwing his arm everywhere
Spitting as he talked, the pure hatred coming from his eyes.
When anyone would try to talk or even move, let alone try to speak
And worst of all after this comes to an end, my hopes to see my friends
Or anyone who came probably never would happen again.
Because as I know it Lana will tell her foster parents
And as long as Cameron is still in my moms house
I won't be able to have her over again.
Knowing that as my heart was saying take me back,
Take me home, I want to go home, I can't live like this anymore,
I want to go home, I want to go home, because I was stuck in a NIGHTMARE THAT  WAS A REALITY!
As the fear of everything struck my body, facing my body, to tremble, crying till no end
Shaking  and rocking, never having or wanting any of this to even happen as it went passed my eyes.
I looked up in his eyes as he was yelling to show my respect for him and others
As I noticed the reflection off the tv, my face and tears running down my almost pale white skin
Seeing my body shaking back and forth: to and fro
to nervous, to afraid, to say one simple thing. And not to mention
This started upstais by the bathroom of my mothers room and ended down in my room.
After he left and went back upstairs, my body teared and stomach went almost to vomit,
Not even knowing what was going to even happen next
Heart crying as a moment of time came flashing back in my mind
Not by the same person but the same feeling of what happened before but a whole lot worse
as the moment of now, is still flashing threw my mind not knowing what to do.
Each time I think about what was said emotions fly threw my mind not knowing what to do.
But as the emotions fly it strikes me that much harder everytime I think about it.
Afraid to tell my father because of what cameron might do to me or my mom.
If I do, I am so scared and have to many emotions to even think of what the emotions could ever be like
As they run threw my mind all it can do is cry till no end.
I can't live like this, I have to get out.
My brain is killing me form the inside out, from everything
Cameron said to his actions,
To absolutely everything that had happened.
Body still wants to shake and tremble at his voice.
So scared and never want to be in his presence ever again
Because of the fear of not knowing where he is or when he will be at the house.
This became a HORRIBLE REALITY INSIDE OF JUST A NIGHTMARE!
Hoping to be his lovely bide someday
~Arielle Bosler~

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Can`t live like this!

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