ramblings and things

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Modern Christmas Carol


No Christmas at out house this year
Cos Santa's in the jug.
He got careless with his shopping
And they videoed his mug.
He was walking round Hammond's
But he didn't take care
And the plod in the Z car
Caught him still in there.
He explained it was on impulse
And he was in a state of shock
He'd really no idea of the time.
Early morning, really, four o'clock!!!
He was just borrowing the tele
To see if it would fit;
If it was too big
He'd be returning it;
But if it was right size
He'd be calling back to pay.
He was coming up to town
The very very next day.
The goodies in his pocket?
Must have fall em off the shelf.
What did he need with whisky?
He was a teetotaller himself;
But the constable what nicked him
Must have been a cynical man;
Though I rather think what clinched it
Was dad's loading up his van.
And the beak in charge,
With missionary zeal
Gave 24 months  with
No chance of appeal
No Christmas at out house this year
Cos Santa's gone away
At least he'll get three square
And probably a purer class A


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Modern Christmas Carol