Welcome to My Poetry Site
The Story of Lana: Here a Nip; There a Tuck
One day it dawned on Lana that
Some physical "flaws" were more dominant.
Rivers of wrinkles crisscrossed her face,
And the bump on her nose looked more prominent.
"This just won't do," she said to herself.
"Good looks are so in demand,
That I've got to see Dr. Slicestitch before
All of this gets out of hand."
The doctor, after examining Lana,
Made a few suggestions:
"I have the perfect plan for you.
Just stop me to ask any questions.
Let's start with a major skin resurfacing
To get rid of wrinkles and spots.
We'll do a slice here, a little slice there,
And then we'll start with the shots.
Collagen and Botox injections must happen
After your mid-face lift.
Rhinoplasty will flatten your nose.
But we can't give your bosom short shrift.
If you're looking at breast enlargement,
We can give you a rack--
Unless reduction is more beneficial
To relieve that pain in your back.
We'll lift your eyelids, raise your cheekbones,
And put an implant in your chin.
We'll thicken your lips and pull back your neck
To give you the tightest of skin.
We'll use sclerotherapy on varicose veins;
My accuracy is uncanny.
And a little more work in the lower area
Will give great form to your fanny.
Liposuction on your thighs and belly
Would also be very smart.
Plus laser treatment for unwanted hair.
All this should be a great START."
You should see Lana now;
Stop by to kindly surprise her.
You'll be astonished by her new look,
Although you won't recognize her.
Her face is so tight that she can't smile;
Her skin is pale and waxen.
Her chin protrudes and her nose is flat.
She'll remind you of Michael Jackson.
It almost seems as though she can't blink;
If she could, I'd be amazed.
The look on her face is the look of a woman
Perpetually shocked or crazed.
Regarding her breasts, she went with large
Instead of the reduction.
Her breasts might turn heads, but not the loose skin
From all of her liposuction.
Yes, she's got new shape to her bottom,
But now she has to beware:
Being heavy on top and rounded below
Makes it hard to sit on a chair.
Now that she's started all this work
Frequent adjustments are needed
To fine tune areas that would get messy
If left entirely unheeded.
A major overhaul on a car
Works well on an old Model T.
The human body is more problematic;
The outcome has no guarantee.
A little adjustment here and there
Is fine if it's done quite tastefully.
But many people like the idea
Of trying to grow old gracefully.
Lana received a complete transformation;
Of options she had plenty.
It's just that it's strange when someone looks
Seventy going on twenty.
(8-4-14)
Some physical "flaws" were more dominant.
Rivers of wrinkles crisscrossed her face,
And the bump on her nose looked more prominent.
"This just won't do," she said to herself.
"Good looks are so in demand,
That I've got to see Dr. Slicestitch before
All of this gets out of hand."
The doctor, after examining Lana,
Made a few suggestions:
"I have the perfect plan for you.
Just stop me to ask any questions.
Let's start with a major skin resurfacing
To get rid of wrinkles and spots.
We'll do a slice here, a little slice there,
And then we'll start with the shots.
Collagen and Botox injections must happen
After your mid-face lift.
Rhinoplasty will flatten your nose.
But we can't give your bosom short shrift.
If you're looking at breast enlargement,
We can give you a rack--
Unless reduction is more beneficial
To relieve that pain in your back.
We'll lift your eyelids, raise your cheekbones,
And put an implant in your chin.
We'll thicken your lips and pull back your neck
To give you the tightest of skin.
We'll use sclerotherapy on varicose veins;
My accuracy is uncanny.
And a little more work in the lower area
Will give great form to your fanny.
Liposuction on your thighs and belly
Would also be very smart.
Plus laser treatment for unwanted hair.
All this should be a great START."
You should see Lana now;
Stop by to kindly surprise her.
You'll be astonished by her new look,
Although you won't recognize her.
Her face is so tight that she can't smile;
Her skin is pale and waxen.
Her chin protrudes and her nose is flat.
She'll remind you of Michael Jackson.
It almost seems as though she can't blink;
If she could, I'd be amazed.
The look on her face is the look of a woman
Perpetually shocked or crazed.
Regarding her breasts, she went with large
Instead of the reduction.
Her breasts might turn heads, but not the loose skin
From all of her liposuction.
Yes, she's got new shape to her bottom,
But now she has to beware:
Being heavy on top and rounded below
Makes it hard to sit on a chair.
Now that she's started all this work
Frequent adjustments are needed
To fine tune areas that would get messy
If left entirely unheeded.
A major overhaul on a car
Works well on an old Model T.
The human body is more problematic;
The outcome has no guarantee.
A little adjustment here and there
Is fine if it's done quite tastefully.
But many people like the idea
Of trying to grow old gracefully.
Lana received a complete transformation;
Of options she had plenty.
It's just that it's strange when someone looks
Seventy going on twenty.
(8-4-14)
