Welcome to My life in the shadows



 
ASHTRAY MEMORIES
 
I once had dreams
of you,
hot visions unfolding
tagged and penned
on twilights edge,
but now
I just sit alone
occupied within
the vacant spots,
the dark parking lots
and little love-you notes.
No more
than a cigarette
worth of thought
really,
to foul the evening air with.
A silent communion
spent within my needful dreams
and myself…Spilled
in the empty blue night
where other eyes
might see
what was truth
and what was not.
 
Here,
once again
in the white room,
I notice the emptiness
on the overhead speaker.
The emptiness
that comes’ calling
in times like these,
in times of weakness
when life has left us
to the frailties
of our own spoiled needs,
our own
broken thoughts
crumbling
benieth our feet.
 
This
is that hallow place
within the cure.
That empty place
that shines a little colder,
and crawls a little deeper
under our skin
until we begin
to find a certain comfort
under the table,
and behind the shadows,
like some disease
might crawl
into a weakened body
starved of any Godly nourishment.
 
And it is here,
here at long last,
where I become lost
within the emptiness
of another four A.M. room,
white, sterile,
and cast off
into the frozen waste
of southern suburbia
where we are all left
to our own devices
(you and I)
left to our own needs
before we learn
that it is
within each of us
who must
bear up
our wooden cross
- - -
Slivers and all.
 
uTAH jAY


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ASHTRAY MEMORIES