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It's 0058 PST
The pain in the
Middle of my back
Is a 10/10
Which is the worst
As though
The largest
Chef's knife in
The world is
Stabbing you
Right there
At Thoracic level
Called T 11-12
Where my brain dwells
Right now

At 0101 it is no fun
To be me
Here with misery
From the agony
Of no shock absorbers
As an old car
Metal on metal
Or bone on bone
It's the same
Kind of hell
To be lived in
Right now

At 0103 it takes me
To screaming and yelling
If I'm not telling you
Of my woe
To somehow
Make the pain go
Take a fraction
That the pain
Will lessin' is what
I'm guessin'
Could happen
Right now

At 0107 it is difficult
As I picture a heaven
Where it's not my fault
Because I lifted too much
As a Superwoman
After decades of it
What I had comin'
Because God wants me closer
To seeing he's the only super
Duper duper
Magic pooper
Up in heaven above
While I'm down here
Praying for his love
Right now

At 0112 what do I do?
But pop another pill
My back is ill
I cannot take it
The strength I fake it
When I have to
Then I give in
Because pain is my friend
From God
When I'm a poet odd
Trying to live through
Pain that me insane
To even living
So I've been giving
My praise up towards the stars
Unscrewing lids on the pain jars
Letting it go
So you understand maybe
Why I'm such a baby
When it comes to pain
It's what I've gained
Trying before to be
Then my back knock me down
Onto the floor
It's never been the same
Therefore, I live in shame
Right now

At 0119 it's feelin' mean
To be me
The middle of the back you see
Is gone
Live on
In spite of it
As today
I learned it's just my body
Not my mind
So with this brain
Somehow I'll do fine
Writing and writing
Thinking and thinking
Taking a stronger pill
Then in a half hour
My back won't feel so ill
It will be better
So glad I wrote this pain letter
Trying to explain
What's it's like to have
Severe pain
That comes if I don't treat it right
Killing me this time of night
After the day
Please God take some pain away
I know you will
A prayer and pill
Will let it ease
Where I can live
Then maybe give
My pain away
To God above
To me his love
Amongst the masses
Trebles and basses
The song of him
It's not a whim
Only such grace
Can understand the pain I face
Thank you for science
Thank you for love
Thank you for faith
That comes because
He saved my life
Two times before
I have hope forevermore
Although the pain is hard and mean
While pain and God are both unseen
They are two things to only feel
In this thing some call unreal
Right now.

11/21/2014 0132 PST cj

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