New Mum Moans By aldo kraas, www.PoetryPoem.com/poet11586 Unlock all Features - Upgrade to Poetry Prime
You grew in a place accustomed to loss...
so mum and dad loved you with such hopeful force.
For 8 months we talked through a barrier of skin...
hoping you heard us and felt safe within.
We were flooded with love on the day you arrived...
but it wasn't long before you cried, cried and cried!
You wouldn't sleep and constantly screamed...
Happy times felt like a faraway dream.
I couldn't always stay calm but certainly tried...
You screamed and screamed - my heart had lied!
The love didn't give me super new powers...
Not when the crying lasted hours and hours!
With no magic touch or endless reserves...
the exhaustion began to get on my nerves.
When a mothers soft voice and touch failed to soothe...
I felt like a failure with all the wrong moves!
When you fussed day and night, always awake...
the smiles I forced were often just faked.
Through exhaustion and tears I fight to stay calm...
but you won't even settle when walked in your pram!
I give cuddles and smiles when I just want to sleep...
My love reserves don't feel quite as deep...
When my efforts are met with you crying blue murder...
It often feels like you don't need your mother!
A short trip in the carseat makes you angry and wild...
You are the absolute epitome of a difficult child!
Impossible to pacify, comfort or soothe...
Your crying will stop when only you choose!
And I see other mums getting out and about...
With their calm little babies, I'm filled with self-doubt...
Am I doing something wrong? am I spoiling you?
When I let you have cuddles and feed you on cue?
Should I lie you down crying to get in a state?
Even though I know you will end up irate?
We have tried all the tricks to get you to bed...
but you quickly awake with a face that is red!
And the anger ensues for another crying spell...
When you would have slept on me perfectly well!
I feel like a mother undeserving of child...
when times like this frustrate for a while.
And I blame you poor baby for my lack of sleep...
when I wish you'd just settle and not make a peep.
Then the moments we spend, you and I locking eyes...
I forget the bad times, the screams and the cries...
And you mimic my sounds, you giggle and smile...
and suddenly the exhaustion seems all worthwhile!
The love it returns, it's deeper than ever...
when I see my real baby - beautiful and clever!
And I no longer envy the mums with calm babies...
when I think our good moments possibly, maybe...
will start to last longer, you will settle with time...
And, come good or bad, baby you're mine!
So for now I am happy I'm doing the right things...
as I see you develop and the joy that this brings...
Just a smile a day to keep me from crumbling...
even if I need to wee and my tummy is rumbling!
For I know that these times are a phase and will pass...
Everyone says: "the hard times don't last".
For that I am grateful in respect of the crying...
but our cuddles I'll miss, there's no point denying!
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