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Section 69 (Performance Version



The army ran on regulations

Obey them and you'd be fine

But beware of that ubiquitous

Queens Regs Section 69.

Devised for situations

Where no others would fit

It took daring luck and skill

To wriggle out from under it

If they wanted to get you

And couldn't find a way 

Section 69 
Was brought into play

Conduct Detrimental 

Which was never defined

Conduct Unbecoming

All under Section 69

A face that didn't fit
A body deemed too tall

It didn't really matter 

69 covered  all
Two left feet

A big hairy nose

Sticky out big ears

Yes it covered  all those

Every single squaddie

At sometime would meet

That fanatic disciplinarian

With his blank charge sheet.

The only defence really 

Was to outrageously lie

if the CO was in good mood 

It might  just get you by.

So many situations

That were hard to define

But in the end there was always

Good old Section 69.

Catch 22 was fiction

Appealing to a humour like mine

But there was nothing very funny

About Section 69. 



 



 









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