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The Cafe That Could Not Trade
The Café that could not trade by Richard Harries Copyright
If you drive on the 1033 from Hull
Then there is a building over which I used to mull
Fifteen miles from the city
Seemed to me to be in the wrong situation, what a pity
At the South Cave turn off there was this place
Always felt the owner would have egg on his face
Cos it was a café, looked fine
But I was very glad it was not mine
Next to a petrol station that was well used
Thought the owner would be bemused
By folk who would not stop for a cup of tea
I wouldn't it was too near to be
Visited once I had set off
To have a drink or to scoff
Anything so soon or even a rest
I would have to be pressed
Into stopping there
They did not have a prayer
So it closedown
Looked sad like a frown
Alone and shuttered up
No one had stopped there to sup
It stayed that way a long time
Although the building was fine.
Wrong side of the road if coming to our great city
Far too close the other way, what a pity
Then a sign went up saying it was to be opened again
Turned into an adult store for pleasure or pain
Well I thought how daft
Everyone will at that have laughed
No one will stop so far from anywhere
And travel all the way there
Then the store opened and as I drove by
I was amazed as I did spy
Queues of traffic driving in
To enjoy maybe a little bit of sin
Of course it's on a dual carriageway so fast
And no one will notice as they drive past
Anyone's car even their brother's
It could be a friend's, a neighbour's, any others
So what was a very bad place
For a café sure is ace
If you drive on the 1033 from Hull
Then there is a building over which I used to mull
Fifteen miles from the city
Seemed to me to be in the wrong situation, what a pity
At the South Cave turn off there was this place
Always felt the owner would have egg on his face
Cos it was a café, looked fine
But I was very glad it was not mine
Next to a petrol station that was well used
Thought the owner would be bemused
By folk who would not stop for a cup of tea
I wouldn't it was too near to be
Visited once I had set off
To have a drink or to scoff
Anything so soon or even a rest
I would have to be pressed
Into stopping there
They did not have a prayer
So it closedown
Looked sad like a frown
Alone and shuttered up
No one had stopped there to sup
It stayed that way a long time
Although the building was fine.
Wrong side of the road if coming to our great city
Far too close the other way, what a pity
Then a sign went up saying it was to be opened again
Turned into an adult store for pleasure or pain
Well I thought how daft
Everyone will at that have laughed
No one will stop so far from anywhere
And travel all the way there
Then the store opened and as I drove by
I was amazed as I did spy
Queues of traffic driving in
To enjoy maybe a little bit of sin
Of course it's on a dual carriageway so fast
And no one will notice as they drive past
Anyone's car even their brother's
It could be a friend's, a neighbour's, any others
So what was a very bad place
For a café sure is ace
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The Cafe That Could Not Trade
The Cafe That Could Not Trade
