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Church Parade Blues

The army had lots of little boxes
If you didn't tick the right ones
Life could prove a little hairy
As your career did or didnt move on.
The Recruiting Sergeant had insisted
You can't be an Atheist lad
I'll put you down as C of E
Just like your Mam and Dad

Fall in the Sergeant Major barked
You lot have got it made
We've got a nice Sunday treat
Today it's Church Parade
Now I didn't mind the marching
But fell out at the church door
Good luck to those who need it
But I didn't do religion anymore.

Wot you up to lad he barked
As I stood at ease by the wall
You'll have to see the Padre
We can't be having this at all.
Now the Padre was a Major
Sitting severely in his chair
So I threw him a salute
As I was marched in there.

Your docs said CofE he said
So what was going on
I explained that past belief
 Was long long gone.
Atheist in fact
If not on record
I'd long ago discarded
The concept of his Lord.

I could see he was annoyed
Could tell by that look
So I hasted to assure him
I had studied his holy book.
I asked how he reconconcled
Bring a priest of the testament
With the role he now held
Of being an officer and a gent.

Not a pleasant interview
Or even a good natured chat.
It really really did go rather
Downhill somewhat after that.
They finally change my records
And never any more
Did I get any aggro when
I fell out at the church door.

The very next year in Depot
I stood there all alone
Feeling a little exposed
A little squad all of my own.
I believe that day
Corps history was made
Fall out the atheist they barked
And I left my final Church Parade.

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