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“What Use to Be”
Time seemed to
be stuck
as they both
stood there
each looking
indirectly
at the other
then turning
away
when the words
wouldn’t come
for either one
of them
when you don’t
really know
what it is
you want to
say
it’s hard to
put the right
words together,
he looks down
as he kicks
at the ground
with his Red Wing
boots
she takes this
opportunity
to look closely
at his face
something was
missing
from it
something that
had always been
there before
but today it
wasn’t
making his face
seem empty,
he raises his
eyes
towards hers
but before they
can meet
she puts her
left hand on
the railing
next to her
and lifts her
right foot
backwards
and slips off
her shoe
putting her bare
foot down
on top of
her left one
as she inspects
her right shoe,
he smiles at
her peculiar
habit
of checking her
shoes
and never liking
to put her
bare foot on
the ground
but his smile
slips away
as he thinks
about
how she use to
make him stand
next to her
hip to hip
put his arm
around her waist
to balance her
as she stood
with her bare
foot
on top of
his shoe
as she did
her inspection
now a weathered
piece of railing
has taken his
place,
she decides
against
checking the
other shoe
the first one
was only a
diversion
to keep from
having to look
him in the
eyes
not wanting to
have to see
that pleading
look
that she didn’t
have an answer
for
she wants to
tell him
“what use to
be
will never be
again”
but can’t find
the right context
to convey that
fact
that wouldn’t just
seem like a
heartless blow,
they can both
feel the awkwardness
of this chance
meeting
multiplying
with each passing
second
an encounter
she was hoping
wouldn’t have
come
quite so soon
one that he
didn’t think
would be so
hard
with someone
he knew so
well,
he just wants
to hear her
talk to him
use some of
her
more familiar
words
put together
a string of
sentences
that were common
to her
when she spoke
to him
talk the way
they use to
talk
when they were
alone
for him
a form of
verbal comfort
food,
but everything
between them
right now
feels so strange
to him
almost foreign
while she
understands
the uneven
balance
of the situation
too many words
at any one
end
of the conversation
and someone
might trip
and get hurt
it’s probably best
just to smile
and nod,
still balanced on
her one leg
she drops her
shoe to the
ground
slips in her
bare foot
and makes her
eyes
find his
“hey,
I’m sorry
but I got
to go,
I got this
thing”
she softly
says,
he was
taking in the
smallest of
details
on her face
when her eyes
caught up to
his
“yea,
I got to be
somewhere too”
he replied
without any
conviction
in his voice
“ok then,
it was nice
seeing you”
she says,
subconsciously
pulling her keys
from her pocket
a visual aid
for him
to help him
see
that their little
talk
was over,
“yea,
nice seeing you
too”
he said
not the sentence
he wanted to
get out
but that didn’t
really matter
she had already
spun around
on the sole
of her newly
inspected
right shoe
and as short
as his last
sentence was
his words still
trailed off
as he watched
her
spin around
in front of
him
still thinking
next time
he’ll be able
to tell her
what he really
wanted to say
believing those
lost words
of his
will have a
special meaning
to her,
she takes a
call
at the end
of her spin
saying she’s on
her way
she had just
ran into someone
she use to
know
as he is
forgotten
by her
before she
walks
ten feet
away…
Tom Allen…09-13-2018…
Time seemed to
be stuck
as they both
stood there
each looking
indirectly
at the other
then turning
away
when the words
wouldn’t come
for either one
of them
when you don’t
really know
what it is
you want to
say
it’s hard to
put the right
words together,
he looks down
as he kicks
at the ground
with his Red Wing
boots
she takes this
opportunity
to look closely
at his face
something was
missing
from it
something that
had always been
there before
but today it
wasn’t
making his face
seem empty,
he raises his
eyes
towards hers
but before they
can meet
she puts her
left hand on
the railing
next to her
and lifts her
right foot
backwards
and slips off
her shoe
putting her bare
foot down
on top of
her left one
as she inspects
her right shoe,
he smiles at
her peculiar
habit
of checking her
shoes
and never liking
to put her
bare foot on
the ground
but his smile
slips away
as he thinks
about
how she use to
make him stand
next to her
hip to hip
put his arm
around her waist
to balance her
as she stood
with her bare
foot
on top of
his shoe
as she did
her inspection
now a weathered
piece of railing
has taken his
place,
she decides
against
checking the
other shoe
the first one
was only a
diversion
to keep from
having to look
him in the
eyes
not wanting to
have to see
that pleading
look
that she didn’t
have an answer
for
she wants to
tell him
“what use to
be
will never be
again”
but can’t find
the right context
to convey that
fact
that wouldn’t just
seem like a
heartless blow,
they can both
feel the awkwardness
of this chance
meeting
multiplying
with each passing
second
an encounter
she was hoping
wouldn’t have
come
quite so soon
one that he
didn’t think
would be so
hard
with someone
he knew so
well,
he just wants
to hear her
talk to him
use some of
her
more familiar
words
put together
a string of
sentences
that were common
to her
when she spoke
to him
talk the way
they use to
talk
when they were
alone
for him
a form of
verbal comfort
food,
but everything
between them
right now
feels so strange
to him
almost foreign
while she
understands
the uneven
balance
of the situation
too many words
at any one
end
of the conversation
and someone
might trip
and get hurt
it’s probably best
just to smile
and nod,
still balanced on
her one leg
she drops her
shoe to the
ground
slips in her
bare foot
and makes her
eyes
find his
“hey,
I’m sorry
but I got
to go,
I got this
thing”
she softly
says,
he was
taking in the
smallest of
details
on her face
when her eyes
caught up to
his
“yea,
I got to be
somewhere too”
he replied
without any
conviction
in his voice
“ok then,
it was nice
seeing you”
she says,
subconsciously
pulling her keys
from her pocket
a visual aid
for him
to help him
see
that their little
talk
was over,
“yea,
nice seeing you
too”
he said
not the sentence
he wanted to
get out
but that didn’t
really matter
she had already
spun around
on the sole
of her newly
inspected
right shoe
and as short
as his last
sentence was
his words still
trailed off
as he watched
her
spin around
in front of
him
still thinking
next time
he’ll be able
to tell her
what he really
wanted to say
believing those
lost words
of his
will have a
special meaning
to her,
she takes a
call
at the end
of her spin
saying she’s on
her way
she had just
ran into someone
she use to
know
as he is
forgotten
by her
before she
walks
ten feet
away…
Tom Allen…09-13-2018…