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Loves Ideal
We are all looking for some ideal of love.
It is rare indeed if anyone can say their
ideal of what love is and what love does
has been truly fulfilled.
At least from my own perspective. As I
introspect upon my past’s history, I’ve come
to the conclusion I must have been cursed
ill Fate and suppose to fear it’s too late.
My own ideal of love has lured me by how
sweet it’s nectar tastes and yet I feel a sense
of haste. Seemingly out of nowhere it falls
into particles of dust, had it only been lust?
I think I am still trying to recover from the
shock. Sure seems next to impossible once I
allow myself to recognize I’m stuck in a frozen
sea of emotional muck. I could use a little luck.
Where is one to find an example of love
manifest? When looking, everyone appears
to be dissatisfied, in personal unrest and
if anything, just getting through it at best

 It's as though I stood alone not quite like
The rest. Not that I was above the next.
Loves ideal to me seems to falter on the
Ability to perceive the matrix of ones belief  
With so many given before having the chance to
actually agree. Adding confusion to what was or 
wasn’t me. Countless failures and slaps in the
face, sorrow took my dreams of loves ideal place.
There it remained as I struggled between guilt
and shame happiness fleeting but never could
sustained. In my present moment I’ve learned
to live with loss and gain.

Funny that loves ideal is still my thing. 

Joy hardy
oct 10, 2018

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