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Always Deep Blue (written 7/3-7/6/2022)

THE GLASS BETWEEN MY SELVES

A Poem From The Dark

AND THE NIGHT SKY WOULD BECOME BLUE AGAIN

I Woke Up /// re-edited 2/2/2022 12:31PM



Granddad John James re-edited 10:05Pm 1/31/22

The Grapes (Lucious Grape/ August 31, 2005

TAKE YOUR PEN NOW AND SEE WHAT YOU WILL WRITE

You Taught Me...

Thank You For Being Your Own Treasure

How Hounds-tooth Became Her Friend

A Language You Can't Ignore.... re-edited 1/12/2022

They Say The Preying Mantis Is No Lady

You Can Oh Yes You Can (RE-EDITED 1/9/2021 12:07AM PST time and date stamped.)

HERSTORY...NOT A POEM BUT EXPERIENCE #ONE

I Saw A Star And Dared to Reach For It

The Invitation..( the message of .come as you are>>)

The Nature Of Water

THIS IS MY CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE, ENTER WITHIN

the wonder that always shall be...

Do You Gather Up Your Days The Way Others Collect Wild Butterflies?

The Man On The Red Bicycle (an ode) RE-EDITED 12/4/2021

Stray Cats and I have an understanding... 11/23/2021 copyright

If It Does Them Any Good At All 11/16/2021 date/time stamped

OUTSIDE-THE CROWS 11/14/2021

Still, More Time NOV 6 2021

The Wonder Cat

Little Bundle I Call Joy

AUGUST 1977 (IN THE REMEMBERING)

Wishing Them Onto Better Days

Seize This Day, The One You're With

Only Grief....

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The Dreaming Life ( A Series Of Dream Vignettes)


***********

In sleep
I shed my bruised skin
like a snake

I become someone else
I am not
in the waking world
a  shimmering chimera
and a chameleon

Scenarios happen
that usually would not happen

Often I'm lost
wandering and searching
there are vicious storms that form around me
out of nowhere
side-winding tornados follow me home

At inconvenient times
my clothes fall off and
I find I'm naked or
unusually clumsy in trying to
put them back on

I fly without wings,
observe all that's below me
looking out and seeing for miles
with no fear
forgetting I do not like heights

Once,
after I sneezed,
all of my teeth emptied into my hand--
I could not put them back into my mouth

The dead speak with me
in various stages of decomposition
they like to whisper deep withing the cochlea of my ear
so that their words malinger
they poke me from behind
I tell them to leave me alone
but they are poor listeners

Ghuey meows and comforts us
climbs into our night-bed
and gazes up knowingly into the endless blanket of stars
his golden eyes bore through me to the back of infinity
I cannot stop looking at Him

My Boyfriend finds other women
more fascinating than me
even the ugly and strange but
I become a literal stranger who
watches from a distance--
until he notices my silent tears
and runs to me to envelop me
in his wide chest--
how grateful I am for being so wrong

My middle Brother tries to speak
but I fail to understand
he turns and is transformed into a winged white buffalo
then flys away into a gathering storm
the youngest Brother stands glaring at us
in the distance
his compound bow and arrow raised to the sky

My Mother and Father tell me
there's no such thing as families
that I am sadly mistaken
yet they still love me
they share a deep kiss then
dissolve into dust

Karin, a childhood friend tells me
It was a stupid thing I did back then
huffing...
I couldn't breathe and then I remembered
I wouldn't see you again
Please forgive me
she is still thirteen

My puppy Bootsie tells me
its alright
please, don't worry or cry anymore
I feel no more pain or loneliness--
you are not the one who gave me away
to people who did not want me--
your Mother did...
next to him sits Muffin, my first cat,
nodding,
who was put in the garage for the farmer
to pick up while I was at school

Holding hands we walk into a drowning house
there is treasure everywhere afloat
we gather all of them
but they begin to float away once more--
then we float on a hand-made raft of tied furniture
not far behind them

We're sitting on a steep hill
near the St Croix River
my family's river cabin is behind us--
I look at you and say
"I've finally brought you here
are you happy?"
You respond with a sigh..
"Oh yes, most definitely..."
We smile like the river below us
belonging to this place, finally

Remember your dreams
I've been told,
especially
those that repeat
for they have messages

The dreaming life is the real one--
says Grandfather...
the waking life
is merely a dream

I wake
recall how he was wearing red corduroys
in sweltering July heat
his back turned to me
on our rocky beach
I knew he was speaking to me
though I could not see his lips moving
and then he waded into the river
and disappeared

"Good-bye Grandfather"
I said,
knowing I would never see him again
in life
nor in dreams

In dreams
all things we don't dare feel or say or wish
to others
are spoken

This should be life.

***********

DIRECTLY TO THE PAGE/2:09PM PST AUGUST 25 2019
LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM AND ALSO FOR THIS WRITER
MELISSA A. HOWELLS AND ALSO FOR THIS
LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED SITE TITLE
MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD





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