There were rumours running rife
About some smug smiling faces
Who ruled the Hoi Poloi
From that highest of places.
She was the Queen of gentle bondage.
Couldn't or wouldn't hurt a fly,
Practised her art with tenderness
Which was maybe the reason why
She worked the Corridors of Power
In the Houses of Commons and Lords
With her chains of gentle linen,
Soft plastic knives and swords
Handcuffs of lace and latex,
Whips of finest spider silk,
Synthetic leather face masks
As caressing as warm milk.
So all those noble worthies
Who from birth had been used
To punishment from their nannies
And Public School peer abuse
Could carry on their fettishes
Without any fear or shame
Knowing the Queen of Gentle bondage
Would never ever disclose a name
They could attend committees and
Divisions free of any mark or bruise
Which if the Red Tops had discovered
They would have broadcast on the news.
With her own chamber in the House,
An appointment book ram full
For this gentle entrepreneur
Working life was never dull.
So she practised her profession
Without any malice or hate
And in time she was ennobled
For Services to the State.
Those rumours still continued
But nothing was exposed
For during Parliamentary session
That lady seldom if ever closed.