The trouble with a ketchup bottle -
First none'll come out then a lottle
Suddenly there's a great big lumpa
Making a mess on your jumpa:
Little red spots on ladies blouses
Dubious stains on a gents trousers.
They did try to make it more easy
Replacing the bottle with a squeezy
Removing that undoubted pleasure
Of last drops falling at their leisure.
That taste of glory on your lips
When it's smothered on your chips..
Engineered thick to run slow
Product of a blessed tomato
Brought to us in its full notoriety
As Mr Heinz Fifty Seventh Variety.
Good luck to you as you fine dine
Half cooked meat, vinegary wine,
To you it may all look just great
Tastefully arranged, half empty plate
But I'll remain a peasant all my days
And I'll stick with my peasant ways.
For me, for choice, just one course
Fish and chips and tomato sauce.