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Ebb and Flow

Varying greatly with each day and time,
volumetric changes occurring,
based on the thoughts from my mind.

Vastly increasing when sadness encroaches,
drying to salty trails,
when a happier memory approaches.

Refills are plentiful...again and again.
Switching from good to bad,
like a priest hiding sins.

As the darkness clouds my mind,
I look for signs of light.
But it is like the blind leading the blind,
in the pitch blackness of night.

How could this happen?
It seems like a bad dream,
but even that is misleading...
more like a nightmare,
filled with terror and screams.

As my anxiety level rises,
vision again starts to blur.
The tide brings more tears,
than I can possibly endure.

Does she know this is killing me?
How will I stay afloat?
Our future now at risk,
and afraid I missed the boat.

My greatest regret,
it will haunt me forever.
I tried my best,
but I should have done better.

As my own worst critic,
I will never let this go...
This vicious self-drowning
...in my own ebb and flow.

Original Work By: Shawn A.

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Ebb and Flow