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All That I Have Lost

When I lay awake at night, unable to sleep,
unable to shut down, so much time to think.
Memories of all that I had, and what I have since lost,
how I would do anything to fix it, no matter the cost.
To get back your companionship, your love and your time,
is really the only thing that has been on my mind.
Now in California, without any constant reminders,
much easier now for her to put this behind her.
No pictures or gifts, flowers on display,
a fresh new start for her, a new place, a new day.
To have that luxury, it must be so nice,
no constant reminders for her to see her old life.
I hope I am still in her heart, and maybe occasionally on her mind,
even though she has removed me from her life.
Her love, her attention, her affection I have lost,
just a few things that I will miss the most.
I will miss her cooking, her laughter, watching our shows,
curling up close on the couch, the feeling of her cold little toes.
How hard she laughs when other people fall,
especially when it was me, but honestly, she enjoys them all.
Her predisposition when excited to squeal,
unable to contain the joy inside that she feels.
Coming home to see her working through the window, before opening the door,
eager to greet her with a smile and a kiss, maybe a little more.
I will miss how she would vent to me about work issues of the day,
I would listen to them all, and then tell her to take a break.
Take a moment, have a sit down with me & let it all go,
a 'quick meeting' I called it, and then she would know.
Doing my best to distract her from the stress,
tricking her into stopping, even just for a sec.
Watch some funny clips, ask her about her day,
kiss her on the lips, and listen to what she had to say.
All of these things about her, stored in my locked box,
all of these things, that I have lost.

Original Work by: Shawn A.

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All That I Have Lost