I have never covered my image with glory
Embedded thoughts force me to hide
There is nothing I fear more than seeing my image
Knowing there is nothing but pain trapped inside.
I have tried through the years to search out
Taken many drugs that played with my mind
But always believing that my actions were good ones
Never really seeing that I was just walking blind.
Understanding now that my trauma runs far deeper
Coming to terms with the abuse that I faced
Trying to be conscious of more self forgiveness
Over decisions and the screw ups I made.
I know I will never have true peace of mind
But slowly the nightmares are starting to fade
The sun looks a little brighter each new sunny day
And some sweet memories have truly been made.
There will still be those moments when I will question?
There will be days when I doubt what is real…?
But understanding now that my mind was long ago damaged…
Will help me manage the things that I feel.
