Don't tell Mr me I ain't a woman
Who ain't a soldier of the Almighty
I been tested with trauma and grief since aged 4
One loss after another
Mum won't be the last one I lose
I been tested with loneliness, depression
Anxiety, ptsd, body issues
Invisible illness
Financial complications, stress and emotional distress
I said I'm a soldier and among the most loved by Him
Have you ever been beaten so hard that you end up in hospital?
My life I never deserved some of this
Why blame My lord
This is the enemy
Satan
He whispered into the hearts of the bullies
That stuck gum in my hair and I had to have a boyish haircut
I wanted to cry because enough was enough
Satan whispered into my own heart that I deserved this and that and I'm depressed and I forgot my mums rent money aged 12
This was Satan, but learning to tell her the truth was a huge relief
It's the devil that whispered into my cousins heart and she smashed me up in the middle of balfour Rd
For years I avoided that road from the trauma
Until Someday I faced my demons and said no more ptsd
I even let the child abuse go including the burning
The 21 years of nights I cried out for those with parents who abused them
I prayed to My lord and He answered
I had a hard life
A narcissist of an ex who even when we broke our marriage up 16 years ago
He found a way to keep abusing me and after 19 years I broke the silence and exposed this mfuka
A leader of the mosque asked me why I kept quiet
I said I didn't want his 9 kids to starve to death and he turns to me and Says
It ain't your problem now your ex needs to stuff himself
It was Satan got into my head making me think I did the right thing
Stop blaming Thy Lord