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I Watched Them Taken Away,
I Delved Into The Mind Of A Ficticious Child...
And This Is The Result...
*************************
I watched them taken away,
While I was shaking in fear,
Terrified that I'd be next,
My confused mind not very clear!
Guilt was tearing me apart,
Knowing I was safe for now,
And needing to keep my life…
But in fear and not knowing how!
Hiding behind my shame,
Secretly relieved that it wasn't me,
So sad am I, it makes me cry,
That a coward I must be!
Self preservation to the fore,
Not knowing what was ahead,
All I knew for certainty,
I didn't want to be the next claimed dead.
Forced to go through the belongings,
Searching for gold and such,
It breaks my heart that I had to do this,
The pain and shame was way too much.
I ran and waited on the Germans,
As I lived a life in shame,
But all I knew and thought about,
Was survival was the name of the game.
At 12 years of age I had grown,
Into a deceitful child,
Forever in my head were the thoughts,
I could have been one who'd died!
I watched them kill my family,
I watched them kill my kin,
I watched in horror and fear,
I watched them fight to win!
But they didn't have a chance,
They were weak and ill and frail,
No blood in their veins,
Just sad and oh, so pale…
They were shot and thrown in trenches,
Dug up especially for them,
And as I watched most horrified,
I saw them shoot them over and again!
Many silent tears I shed…
But I had to be brave and strive…
To get through it the best I could,
In my fight to stay alive!
I shuffled around the camp each day,
Offering my help and time,
To any of the Germans who wanted…
And this, well this was my crime…
I helped not hindered and never risked…
My life in any shape or form,
The end result would be my life,
I didn't want to come to harm.
So I shuffled on in silence,
Trying to keep out of sight…
And every time I went to bed…
I prayed for my life each night!
I asked God for forgiveness,
For my cowardice and guilt, and shame
And now, forever more I will continue,
To re-live my past over and over again!
I fought to survive and did so,
But at what cost to my mind?
It drives me insane every day…
Shame and guilt is all I find…
©Catherine Inglesby 1991
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