She said she would call
and I was shaking,
on the verge of tears,
wondering what she'd say,
and the minute I heard her voice,
I felt tears of nervousness and relief
flood my eyes...
It was odd, I could hear a smile
in her voice as she called
me "girlfriend" and after
a few short moments, we decided
it would be better to talk
face to face.
Was it curiosity?
We read each others poetry,
heard about each others lives
from the one person we
had in common,
so in a very odd
sort of way,
I already knew her.
She had a dry mouth,
so we drank Hawaaian Punch
together, not needing
anything stronger.
We felt at ease with
one another.
When she walked in my door,
she told me she never would
have recognized me, that
I didn't look familiar to her,
and I glanced at her blonde hair,
styled different than I pictured,
and her face, older than mine
yet something innocent and
little-girlish was there,
maybe the way she smiled
so easily or we laughed
like we'd known each other
for a lifetime.
He called while she was here,
first on my phone, then
on her cell phone,
and we both pretended
we weren't doing this,
decided he would freak out.
I think the idea of us talking
intimidated him, so we
told him we worked things out
through e-mails.
Her and I talked about
the empowerment of women
and how they needed to be
more assertive and
not let men hurt them.
We talked about life,
forgiveness, trust,
mistakes, changes.
And we found out
how much alike we were,
hugged easily, like old friends,
and it was the most surreal
moment of my life.
We both needed that
understanding, closure...
As women, we needed to face
each other and feel peace.
It was my worst fear,
and once I met her,
I knew it would be
a moment to remember.
I know now
why he loves her,
and I can let go
in pursuit of
something real,
something right.