I see him there in my minds eye,
The sight of which makes me cry!
A baby child, ill and frail,
Small and quiet, and so very pale!
As I sit behind him in my pew,
It broke my heart, what could I do?
So there I sat in Church, shocked and sad,
What did he do that was so very bad?
Not yet 2 years old, and suffering so,
The reason why? Tell me, because I don't know!
Big blue eyes in a face so sad and in pain,
What was the reason, what was the gain?
In his mothers arms I wonder what does he see?
For he was baldy headed, just like me!
Did he see what ‘I' saw, in ‘his' minds eye?
Could he read the thoughts that made me cry?
I sat and I prayed for him to get well!
His parents were sad, I could tell.
The Mass went on, and still I stared,
Wondering if this was a God that cared?
There we were all praying in vain…
What would happen, what would we gain?
I sat with my friend behind this child,
My heart was breaking, my thoughts running wild!
Blue lines on his head, it was with ink they drew…
The marks to be treated, where the cancer grew!
He smiled at me often, I smiled back,
While in my body there was a heart so black!
Black with the thoughts inside my head,
Here was a baby…who would soon be dead!
He hadn't lived, and therein my guilt did lie!
I begged; ‘Please God let him live…don't let him die!'
But the child so ill, sick and frail,
Was riddled in cancer and with this he did ail…
Why would a God so kind and caring…
Let this happen to a child? My faith was warring…!
So all these years later, suddenly out of the blue…
Were my dreams of the baby! Why? I hadn't a clue!
All this time past, yet there every night,
I would dream as I slumbered, and wake in fright!
I'm riddled in guilt that I lived, yet he died…
And so for the baby, many tears have I cried.
It's very hard to know that I survived…
For I can't rid the thoughts of the baby who died!
Are we being punished, is it something we've done?
To have us suffer so…with no place to run?
I see his face each and every night,
The sadness and pain, the heartbreaking sight!
I see him there each night, but I know not for why,
All I know is this, every night I cry!
He suffered and suffered and suffered in pain…
Tell me this oh God above; ‘What was your gain?'
You tell us; ‘Little children come unto me!'
But you let them suffer, for a reason I can't see!
How can a God so all knowing and forgiving…
Let a child suffer so, and cease his living…
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