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The Pipe Up The Drive!
Oh cor blimey, what a sight,
There's a pipe all along the wall,
All bright green, a sight to be seen,
I better give the NTL man a call!
‘Your men have left a cable!' I said,
‘All the way up me drive,'
‘A shocking green, a sight to be seen,'
‘And it looks like its alive!'
‘It's blowing in the wind,'
‘The kids have got me up the wall!'
‘So here I am, once again,'
‘Giving you lot a call!'
‘Lazyitis! I call it!' I said,
‘Leaving it all on show like that!'
‘I wouldn't mind if it blended,'
‘And even better if it was flat!'
‘But it's a great big tube, it is,'
‘This green pipe up the drive…'
‘Please get out here and sort it!'
‘You can fix it if you strive…'
‘Strive to make it good,'
‘Hidden and out of sight,'
‘Help me out, get it sorted,'
‘And ease my flippin' plight!'
So Along they came that week,
All apologetic and sweet,
‘Don't you worry!' They said to me!
‘We'll have it looking really neat!'
Well bless their cotton socks,
Cos they really did work hard,
And now my drive, minus the green,
Looks like a garden and not a dump yard.
They really worked and slogged it out,
Digging up this and that…
Setting concrete by the score,
And making it all flat!
So there it is in all its glory,
The drive, all posh and neat for me,
Thank goodness they put it right,
Cos it was putting me off me tea!
So no more stepping over the pipe,
And no more sunglasses for me,
Cos that florescent green tube, what a show,
Was far too bright you see!
For Jimmy Mac And Ian
Way To Go Lads!
(And it wasnt really lazy, it was a mere oversight)!
Catherine Inglesby 2003
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