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Oh Woe Is Me...Sheeeesh, I Hate Thursdays!!!!Oh woe is me, for Thursdays are bad, It's a livin' nightmare, and I'm awfully sad! Thursdays aint ‘MY' day, they're for me mum, But blimey-oh-riley...she aint no fun! She tells me off most constantly... And If I can't get her, there's hell for me! I travel up there in me little car, It takes me hours cos she lives quite far! But if I can't get her - she gives me hell, And I know when she's moody, everyone can tell! So she told me off this Thursday true… And I shouted back, (for once) oh what a to-do! I never answer her back, no sirreeee, For if I did she'd flippin' kill me! But this day was really, oh so hard to bear, She went ballistic and didn't care! And all because she missed two Thursdays… But they were on both Xmas days! Xmas day and New Years day… Oh hells bells - they were on a THURSDAY!!! So she got upset and said she'd missed 3 days, I said, ‘nope mum, only two Thursdays!' Well she argued the toss and got quite upset, And trust me true, it's the temper I get! She carried on, so I told her true, ‘I will get the dates and show them to you!' ‘I don't need the dates!!!' she roared again, Oh flippin' ‘eck, me mothers a pain! So I went to the place where we hire her chair, I asked of Jerry, ‘are you there?' He came to see me I told my tale, He got the diary, and went quite pale! So when I told me mum I got the date, She went nuts at me, so irate! I said, ‘mum, calm down and you will see…' ‘The days that we went are in the diary!' I'm not lookin' at no book!!!' She roared quite mad! I said, ‘mum, if you don't look that's really bad!' ‘I don't care she screamed as we drove along!' ‘Cos no matter what is says, that book's wrong!!!' Well what can I tell you, she did see the book! Cos Jerry, the star, made her look! But still she went nuts right there by the car! So I took her home, the journey quite far! I never spoke, nor did she… Cos I was so vexed – as one could see! Then after a while she started to chat, I answered politely, cos am nice like that! But she didn't say sorry, nope, she never will, No matter what…she thinks she's right still! What can I say, except flippin' ‘ell…! If we didn't have ‘Thursdays' then life would be swell! Oh cor blimey, help me please… I'm really frail, and am on me knees… Asking for patience cos it's wearin' thin! With all the shoutin' she does, I'll never win! So never again will I miss Thhursdays… I will turn up for her…yes, always! ‘Oh cor bimey, I've the doctors next week… And it's on a Thursday! So it's asylum I seek! I need locking away so she'll leave me be! Cos am an abused ‘child' no matter the age I be! So now I will worry and fret once again, Cos this week when she can't come, she'll go insane! And though she went home, and she never will face… All the people at the shops…I will fall from grace! For I know them all, but in truth you see…! They are my mates and they all know me! So no matter who saw the carryin' on… It won't affect me – so really, I won!!!! Sheeesh!!! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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