Heavens door is but a step away,
With the knife in hand,
And the letter on the desk.
I can almost get away with it.
I can almost leave this world,
Time to get away from it all.
Trying to get rid of it all,
I don't even know what it is,
But I'd like to be free of that
Choking feeling,
That feeling of foreboding loneliness.
Heavens peace will soon be mine,
And yet,
My puddle of tears keeps me here.
I cannot move on,
Cannot stab my wrists,
Cannot seal the envelope,
Cannot leave it all behind
For I am caring therefore I am stuck.
My cries for help
Have gone unnoticed.
My pleas for help
Have been ignored.
All that I wanted
Was brutally shoved aside,
So I began to want less and less,
Until I wanted nothing but death,
And even that is not enough,
My quench for satisfaction, denied.
My thirst for death and dying, lost.
My drive for determined fate, intervened.
My foreboding choking,
It seemed as though it could seal my fate
But it only opened the door to other thoughts,
And now I am less fulfilled
Than when I started out here.
So shoved aside,
So tossed away,
So left alone
That I have only my soul to count on,
And even it wants to betray me.
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