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I Didn't Wake Up Today

I didn't wake up today—
My arm reached out
In the early morning hours
To silence the alarm before it
Screamed me to Life.
I lay heavy, motionless,
Caught between worlds
While Shadow and Light
Fought across eggshell walls.

With sluggish form
And scratchy eyes
My feet found their way
Through tangled sheets
To cold floor.
I went through
The motions of my day—
One foot in front of the other,
Limping steadily,
Without ever really
Opening my eyes.

I didn't wake up today—

At night I found myself
Under covers, again,
Wondering how I'd gone from here
To there and back.
—Of the world but not in it.
I arrived at the answer,
As I had always done,
Dueling with the Light
Then skittishly retreating back
To anesthetize in the Shadows.

I remembered where I'd been
And why I was here. And I'd lie still,
Not wanting to scare Sleep away
So that Tomorrow,
When it came, would say,
“You don't have to wake up today.
Sleep until you're ready.”

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