Some days, I feel like we are
completely in love with each other.
This is one of those days.
It's not anything that I
can put a finger on,
just a feeling of connectedness.
You smiled when you teased me
about the worn-out bra
I put on for work tonight,
said you'd throw all my bras out
and make me buy pretty ones
just like you did
with my granny panties.
You touched me a lot~
when we passed in the kitchen,
in the hallway,
as you sat in your easy chair
watching the baseball game.
We shared secret smiles,
private jokes, went grocery shopping.
You fed me ice cream.
Your spoon. My mouth.
Looking in each other's eyes.
Then, we drove by your aunt's house,
the one she offered to rent to you,
and I wondered when you would
move out and leave me alone again.
You never promised to stay.
I just hoped that you would,
that you would love our rituals
as much as I have grown to.
Perhaps, what bothers me most
is that when you talk about leaving,
you don't talk about me anymore.
You want a house for you...
and your boys.
We used to talk about
buying a house together.
I would sell this house
in a heartbeat...
for a chance with
a life together.
But the lines have been drawn.
You drew them with chalk.
Nothing is very well-defined.
Me and my kids.
You and your boys,
no blending of families.
I want to stay with you.
I will feel lost without you.
I love being your partner.
I've been out there on my own,
single mom, no support,
not enough money,
and I hated every second.
This house became a home
the day you moved in.
I hate the chalk-drawn lines
clouding our relationship.
I want to wash them away.
Good fences make good neighbors,
but horrible lovers.
I want to clap my eraser
to get rid of mine, yours, theirs~
and just leave "ours"...
I don't see why we have to have lines.
God, I wish it would rain!