The thoughts of all the stupid things i said.
The things i done were even worse.
I wish i never made what i like so obvious.
I never meant to embarrass you this way.
Just i like to be alone once more for this last chance.
The kids can't have everything i need to be in great condition in order they survive the way they deserve.
I am glad i have none right now.
But if i was to and i can't trust the other genes i need to make this child or two or more.
I need not have this grief no more.
I never meant to cause nobody trouble.
I never meant to do no wrong.
Trying too hard to hold on strong it's in deep ends of a wound UN heal able.
Too much pain right now to hold on for more i will go out of my mind here right now protecting my own feelings that lead to sins...
Just the way i cope i can't no more too many nervous breakdowns to survive and I'd hate to say goodbye....
Soon you will never know...
I never meant any harm at all.
I never meant for all this trouble.
It's sickening me to carry on this way...
Please help me out of this black hole you are all i can relay on right now this very moment in time i seek the knowledge that chances every single time are from god alone and we need to follow the ways of good or we'll never know what can ever happen.
I'd like to get over this terrifying bridge before i harm me and say goodbye to everything i knew...