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Sheila's Bone Of Contention!The Computer! She got this great computer, Then called me up at home, Said; ‘Cath, I need your help!' ‘Cos I'm feeling so alone!' So off to Sheila's house I went, With me glasses, pen and paper to hand, And there she was, all in a twiz, Crying; ‘Cath, I don't understand! Me programs are closing and opening, And can't use this MSN! And every time I turn it on, It happens all over again! Can you help me out?' She asked, So off I went once again… Showed her what to do, Jeeeze, she really is a pain! ‘Oh dear me!' Sheila wailed, ‘Just what will I do? Cos it's got me up the flamin' pole! And I haven't got a flippin' clue!' ‘Don't you worry kid!' I said, ‘Cos I will sort you out… And give you computer lessons, Of that there is no doubt!' ‘Oh dear what am I doing wrong?' She wailed to me once again, ‘I really haven't a clue, do I? And it's driving me insane!' So I'm going to teach her all I can, I'll sort her, just you wait and see! Cos by the time I'm done with her, She'll be as good as me! Hmmm, on second thoughts, forget that! Cos I really have to say…! She's totally computer illiterate! And I think she'll stay that way! So pack up all your cares and woe, Cos I think its time to give in, Parcel up that computer kid, And chuck it in the nearest bin! Now joking all apart, I have to tell it true, If she sticks with me, I'll sort her out! If it's the very last thing I do! And it probably will be!!!! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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