Where Silver Tears Do Rust
44,103 poems read
Beyond Reflection…….Loss…16 December, 2004
I felt the gentle flutter of your tiny being tickle my heart long before your heartbeat could be heard.
I saw, with my own eyes, the shadow of your precious face while you still grew within my womb.
I laughed and was filled with joy each time that you struggled for space from within my body; your wee feet and elbows pressing outward from within.
I struggled with every life giving pain that sent violent, seemingly crushing waves of pain throughout my body.
I experienced pure love for the first time when I looked into your eyes and warmed your newly born flesh against my breast.
I shed a silver tear with your first word, your first step, your first day of school and the first time that you spoke of your dreams for your future.
I kissed and held you when you cried for your first pet, Kitty Da-Da, when he had to be put to sleep.
I kissed and held you tighter when I brought your newborn baby sister home and you thought that somehow I would love her more than I loved you.
I was beside you for the surgery after you shot yourself in the hand with a BB gun.
I was your voice when you were afraid to speak.
I was your crutch when you needed to lean on me.
I was your teacher when a life lesson caught you off guard.
I prayed for you when you could not or would not pray for yourself.
I held for you, your memories when they slipped from your mind forever.
I felt in my heart, your fear, when your mind slipped away.
I rested when you seemed well again.
Now, I am forty four years old.
You, my first born son, are twenty three years young.
I wish that I could kiss your fear away.
Alas, you will not let me.
Alas, your mind has again slipped away.
I missed the moment when you seemed well.
I did not give to you these memories of mine.
You are gone.
My reflections of our life together have given way to the loss of you….
L.A.McNabb
Thurs. 16 December, 2004
Copyright © 2004 Lori Ann McNabb, All Rights Reserved
*NOTICE to the reader.
Prior to this write, I composed 4 poems for my son. If you'd like to follow his journey, please also read "The Letter", "Voices" ,"One Sided Conversation With My Son" and "The Composer".
My son is now homeless in the high desert of Southern California, where I now reside. I pray that he is alive and will find his way back home again....It is Christmas time and one month before my son's twenty forth birthday.
If his story touches your heart, then please give a smile to and say a prayer for each homeless person that you may pass along your journey as he or she is someones child that may have just lost their way amid the torment and illness that their mind is held prisoner by.
Kisses for your hearts, dreams for your spirits and prayers for you and your loved ones during this Holiday season....
Lori
It is now January, 2005. I will be 45 yrs. young on the 12th of this month and my son will be 24 on the 18th. By the grace of God, we will spend our birthdays together, along with the rest of my children and my new grandson, Cross. My son did come home after 1 month of being on the streets. He said that many people fed him and gave him many smiles. Perhaps, that is all that kept him alive during those below freezing nights that were filled with hunger and confusion. Kisses for your haerts and dreams for your spirits during this new year...
Lori
I saw, with my own eyes, the shadow of your precious face while you still grew within my womb.
I laughed and was filled with joy each time that you struggled for space from within my body; your wee feet and elbows pressing outward from within.
I struggled with every life giving pain that sent violent, seemingly crushing waves of pain throughout my body.
I experienced pure love for the first time when I looked into your eyes and warmed your newly born flesh against my breast.
I shed a silver tear with your first word, your first step, your first day of school and the first time that you spoke of your dreams for your future.
I kissed and held you when you cried for your first pet, Kitty Da-Da, when he had to be put to sleep.
I kissed and held you tighter when I brought your newborn baby sister home and you thought that somehow I would love her more than I loved you.
I was beside you for the surgery after you shot yourself in the hand with a BB gun.
I was your voice when you were afraid to speak.
I was your crutch when you needed to lean on me.
I was your teacher when a life lesson caught you off guard.
I prayed for you when you could not or would not pray for yourself.
I held for you, your memories when they slipped from your mind forever.
I felt in my heart, your fear, when your mind slipped away.
I rested when you seemed well again.
Now, I am forty four years old.
You, my first born son, are twenty three years young.
I wish that I could kiss your fear away.
Alas, you will not let me.
Alas, your mind has again slipped away.
I missed the moment when you seemed well.
I did not give to you these memories of mine.
You are gone.
My reflections of our life together have given way to the loss of you….
L.A.McNabb
Thurs. 16 December, 2004
Copyright © 2004 Lori Ann McNabb, All Rights Reserved
*NOTICE to the reader.
Prior to this write, I composed 4 poems for my son. If you'd like to follow his journey, please also read "The Letter", "Voices" ,"One Sided Conversation With My Son" and "The Composer".
My son is now homeless in the high desert of Southern California, where I now reside. I pray that he is alive and will find his way back home again....It is Christmas time and one month before my son's twenty forth birthday.
If his story touches your heart, then please give a smile to and say a prayer for each homeless person that you may pass along your journey as he or she is someones child that may have just lost their way amid the torment and illness that their mind is held prisoner by.
Kisses for your hearts, dreams for your spirits and prayers for you and your loved ones during this Holiday season....
Lori
It is now January, 2005. I will be 45 yrs. young on the 12th of this month and my son will be 24 on the 18th. By the grace of God, we will spend our birthdays together, along with the rest of my children and my new grandson, Cross. My son did come home after 1 month of being on the streets. He said that many people fed him and gave him many smiles. Perhaps, that is all that kept him alive during those below freezing nights that were filled with hunger and confusion. Kisses for your haerts and dreams for your spirits during this new year...
Lori
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Beyond Reflection…….Loss…16 December, 2004
Beyond Reflection…….Loss…16 December, 2004