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Oh Lord What Can I Do?Oh Lord, what can I do? I've gotten into a mess you see, I went to confession to see the priest, Oh hell, what's wrong with me! I asked me muther for some coconut, One bright sunny day… But me muther said no to that… So I stole it anyway! I had coconut all over me sweater, And oh blimey, what a mess on the floor! I had to shove it under the table, Or me muther would give me what-for! So I got a little bit worried… Cos I've stolen – oh golly gee! So I legged it up to church, As fast as I could be! And as I sat in the church pew, I didn't know what I was going to say, So I decided there was nothing for it, But to go in that box and pray! ‘Our Father,' I said, behind the curtain, ‘I stole and don't know what to do! Me mothers gona kill me, So I thought I'd better come to you! I need to ask God to forgive me! Cos I don't really wana go to hell, You see, I don't wana be burnt alive, And I don't want no pain as well! So dear priest, can you ask for forgiveness, And while you're there, I need to say, If I came here to tell you I stole, Does that cover anything else I do today? Cos that coconut was really lovely, And I really want and need to pray… Cos father, is it still stealing, If I go home and eat some more today? Oh Lord, can you please forgive me? Cos I tried real hard today, Not to eat no more coconut, But I did, so now do I have to pray?' I listened hard, I did, But I didn't hear no-one speak, So I lifted up that red curtain, And had a little peep! And there sitting on the little seat, Was the father in his frock! Fast asleep with a beer in his hand, And he'd drunk every bloody drop! So then can he get that God fella, To forgive me if ‘he's' bad? Cos I think I really should say it! I think that father is sad! So anyway, I went home again, Not knowing what to do for sure, And decided to eat that coconut! Cos it was still mostly on the floor! Me muther would see it anyway! So I might as well eat the lot! Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb, Cos I'm really gona get shot! Now me muther didn't notice you know! That I ate that coconut stuff, But I was ill in bed all night, Feeling really rough! So that night when I went to bed, I asked that Lord fella if it was ok, And did He forgive me for my sin, When I pinched the coconut that day! He Said Yep! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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