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 BEHIND THE MASK OF BEAUTY

I Forgive All Of You


I made some decisions I had to make
Because I was hurting inside
I couldn't just hold them back
And live my life a lie

Daddy I didn't mean to hurt you
I didn't mean to make you cry
You have to understand
I was doing what I felt was right

I didn't believe you could change
I was just so ashamed of you
Hurting me the way you did
Was something I never thought you could never do

Even though you apologized
I was still in pain
I didn't want to listen to you
I didn't care for you to explain

I never really hated you
I never wanted you to stay away
I just needed time for myself
I needed to heal my own pain

I am going to say it before it's too late
Something I've been longing to do
To tell you exactly how I feel
I need to say that I forgive you

Mother I am very sorry
For the drama you have been through
Having your kids taken away
Was really tough on you

Don't think we didn't love you
Don't think we didn't care
At that point in time
We just didn't feel safe there

I was in pain and so confused
I was feeling pressured to lie
I couldn't just hold it in
I had to do what was right

I was afraid to get hurt again
And for you to just let it go
I couldn't handle it anymore
I had to let someone know

For a while I thought I was at fault
Like I had done something wrong
Then I finally realized
It wasn't my fault all along

You told me to lie
something I just couldn't do
But you have also changed
And mom I can forgive you

Shawn you are my big brother
Someone I thought I could turn to
Someone to help me out
Who could help me decide what to do

Instead you turned your back
Like I was the one to blame
You said I messed up the family
I felt so ashamed

All that time you said
It was wrong to turn in family
How was it so wrong
When family was hurting me

I thought you hated me
I thought you didn't want me there
All that time I came to figure
That you didn't care

I know how you get when you're mad
You say things you don't mean
So I have made the decision
To accept your apology

I've suffered through a lot of pain
As you have all suffered too
I am willing to move on and do what's right
I forgive all of you

                                CRYSTAL MARTINEZ







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