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Oh Lord, Oh Dear Me!I wake up every morning, And raise my eyes above, And ask for the blessings of the day, And to shower me with love! And beg that for my breakfast, I'll have just 2 weetabix, And not be tempted to any more, Cos I'm feeling all betwixed! At dinner-time I raise my eyes, And ask Him for divine intervention! Because I really need to focus, But my sins I forget to mention! So I ask for patience and understanding, Cos I have to admit this is true, I really get a moody on! When my taste buds are coming through! Then at lunch time I'm at it again, Asking for Him to send to me… The strength to turn away from… All the food that aint meant to be! At snack time I open the cupboard, And beg forgiveness cos of what I see, Great big bars of chocolate, Oh Lord, send some will power to me! At evening meal I'd go once more… To the kitchen in my flat, And throw out bits and bobs, Cos if I eat them I'll get fat! And I beg for strength and constitution! To show me the way to go; Cos I get fed up, and all mixed up, And I'm looking a ruddy show! So dear Lord I ask of you, Please send to me what I need, To resist from being tempted, Cos there are rules I need to heed! Our Father up in Heaven, I pray to you once again, Please invoke your rules on me, To stop this ruddy fat weight gain! And if you can't do that for me, Then please send some intervention, And make me hate all fatty foods, Chocolate and a few not to mention! For there I am each morning, Looking at me bum… It's getting fatter by the day… Oh blimey, what have I done!!! Lord, I bought a lovely mirror, To see what I could see… And oh ruddy hell and sugar plumbs, Is this really and truly me? Two chins and lines all over, Cobwebs and crows feet too, All tell a tale and make me pale, Because I don't know what to do! I get weighed on the scales each morning, (But I'm sure that they are out)! Cos I have to be quite honest here! I'm having quite a doubt! And stand there with me eyes closed, Grit them really tight… Hold in me breath, try not to breathe! Cos I'm sick of getting a fright! When I look down onto the scales, Hark; is that weight gain I espy? Well what a shock, oh Lord, oh heck! I think I'm gona cry! Cos every time I'm feeling peckish, I look for food to eat… Lord, I really must have will power! Cos there's two bum's on my seat! So I ask Our Lord above for help, To get me back on track! And I'm praying that He hears me! Cos me double bum's come back! Oh dear Lord, I ask you please, To cut me a little slack…! And help me get this fat off!!! Cos I want me figure back!!!! Amen Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem |
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