No one knows how I really feel
I'm not happy with my life
I'm not happy with myself.
Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
back when I was young,
I should have made the right decisions
but instead I went with wrong.
I should have stayed in school
I should have exercised more,
and when I started work
I should have saved my money,
by now I would be living on my own
and not living off daddy and mommy.
I should have given Fabian a chance
Instead of pushing him away,
but I'm afraid of love
I'm afraid of getting hurt.
I feel I never have enough
I feel emptiness within my heart.
I don't have a lot of friends
I feel my family hates me
I always try their respect to gain
I try to make them happy.
I should try harder
I need to crawl out of this hole
I should be smarter
I'm not dumb young fifteen years old anymore.
Now I can make the right decisions
I know what's right and wrong,
but still I'm not happy with myself
so many insecurities and the pains not gone.
I'm not happy with my life
but I should move on,
the scars will heal with time
just like every day brings the rising of the sun.