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MY RA


Doe So La Te
Doe Ra Me
Feeling free
It's 0233

In the morning
Without warning
She is my thought
Though my poetry's not a lot

It's what rolls in my head
When it is too early to be dead
My ray of God's sunshine through you
Do you ever feel it inside like I do

I know the grace can come from anyone
God's will be done
On Heaven and Earth
God is love and my rebirth

Praying to him all the time
Writing of him in this rhyme
And many ones before
He knows the torture that I store

God sees me looking at you differently
I ask myself those questions repeatedly
Tell me my God that I'm not wrong
For loving Myra in this song

Forgive me as I sin God too
Loving a man, then being by you
You somehow stir me to a calmer height
Where I ask God what is alright

Is it a hellish cool
Am I a passionate fool
Would all the heavens look down on me
If these words turned to touch to God I plea

Asking God to show me the way
To Myra I don't know how to say
That I am lost and feel alone
How could I sleep with her and moan

With skin on skin
Is it a sin
That I think of the care at her place
And this lifetime of me is slapped in the face

That it's forbidden and wrong
Ashamed the feeling is strong
That you would love me better than a man
All of them don't seem to understand

The pain they leave me with without thank yous
With them I seem to lose
The niceties of life
Like them wanting me to be thier wife

Most think I am crazy
While I find them lazy
Sitting on a couch
When I have a big ouch

That needs to be filled
With warm loving touch to be healed
From all the pain endured I've seen
I need close and safe not distant or mean

To go away when it's new
To want his time and for him not to want you
That's what I have right now
It's disrespect to me somehow

What do I do with this heartune song
That's been asleep in my soul all along
As you are kind to me everyday
You seem so strong I have to give away

A poem that has you listening to my heart
I go to these words and start
Questioning my whole life here
Because in you I see the care

That you could give
If I could live
In poetry, in fantasy, in God
My lord why am I so odd

For thinking her touch could heal
For thinking that I will
Experience Heaven on Earth with you
But then to him I'd said I'd be true

Could I take it back
Do you have what he does lack
If I was late would you go home
Would you not call if you forgot your phone

Or fifty-cents would you find to spare
To call me on my cell phone there
When you were suppose to call me earlier
Could I depend on anything from her

Would you even look my way
If I begged would you stay
Overnight and hold me close
Could you love me most

Right there below loving love
Which to me is God above
Though the mistakes make me want to die
I keep my faith in God and try

To love others as best I can
In these lines I hope you understand
You could be my ray of light in this dark night
I can only pray to God and ask what's right

Because all my life it has been wrong
I'm tired old and inside I long
For piece of heart and piece of skin
That I don't know if I will find with men

They're inconsiderate and cruel
For all my life I've been their fool
And none of them have managed to control
This ever questioning tortured soul

Who only what the peace of mind
That she will probably never find
Because men get close then hold you at bay
They come and then they go away

They don't rub your back for hours
They get bored with what my word impowers
They let me cry leave me insane
With them I cannot seem to gain

A trust of them or security
They tire of my immaturity
They won't take over
Change my life

They are too slow
At healing the strife
They are too bored to make me well
With most of them it's hell

What do I do
How do I talk to you
Except on these lines
Where these words flow

I let out my rain on Myra to know
It's now 4a.m. I think of him
Away from me
As I write a heartune to a she...


10/5/2004 0407 cj
(inspired by M. Parker)










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